Section IX

Visit to the House of
Jaigopal Sen

Chapter One

Family life and Sri Ramakrishna

It is 28 November, 1883. At about 4 or 5 p.m., Sri Ramakrishna visited Lily Cottage of Keshab Chandra Sen. Keshab is ill, soon he will leave the mortal world. After seeing Keshab Thakur has come to the house of Jaigopal Sen in the Mathaghasa Street after 7 p.m. along with some bhaktas.

The devotees think over many matters, “We see Thakur night and day mad in the love of Hari. He has married but has not established that sort of family life with his wife. He has bhakti for her and worships her. With her he talks only of the Lord, he sings of God, worships God, meditates on Him, and has no worldly connection. He sees that the Lord is the only Reality and all else is unreal. He cannot touch money, any metallic object, jug or bowl. He cannot touch women ­ if he touches them, his body develops tremor at the spot as if stung by the singi fish. His hand twists when money or gold is placed on his palm ­ like the state of a handicapped person. His breathing stops. And when he throws these things away, he again begins to breathe normally as before.”

The devotees think over many matters, “Shall we have to renounce the world? What is the need of studies now? If we don’t marry, we will not have to take up service anywhere. Shall we have to leave our parents? I have married, I have children, I am to look after my wife ­ what about me? I also want that I should remain night and day absorbed in the love of Hari. When I see Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, I say to myself what I am doing. Day and night, he meditates ceaselessly on the Lord like the flow of oil, while I am running about night and day thinking worldly matters! Just his darshan is like a small spot of light on a sky overcast with clouds. How  shall I now solve the problem of my life?

“He has personally shown by practising it himself. But do I still have doubts?

“Shall I break this embankment of sand and fulfil my desire? Is it really a sand embankment? If that is so, why can’t I give it up? I see that I have less power. When I have developed that sort of love for Him, I shall not calculate then. If the tide appears on the Ganga, who can stop it? If one just has a drop of the prema which made Sri Gauranga (Chaitanya) put on the loin cloth, the prema that moved Christ go into exile without the consideration of anything else and made him give up his body after having the vision of the face of loving Father, the prema that made the Buddha give up his state luxury and become a vairagi[1], then this transitory world would be cast away by me.

“Well, what is the way for those who are weak, who have not developed that prema, who are worldly beings tied by the fetters of maya? I shall not leave company of this great soul intoxicated with the love of the Lord and who looks not for anything except the Lord. Let me see what he says.”

The devotees are thinking thus. Thakur is sitting in the drawing room of Jaigopal with the bhaktas. In front of him are seated Jaigopal, his near and dear ones and some of his neighbours. A neighbour was ready for discussion. He is the first to begin the conversation. Vaikuntha, Jaigopal’s brother, is also there.

 

 

Family Life and Sri Ramakrishna

Vaikuntha — We are householders. Kindly advise us.

Sri Ramakrishna — Know Him and keep one of your hands at His lotus feet and attend to your worldly work with the other.

Vaikuntha — Sir, is this world illusory?

Sri Ramakrishna — It is illusory until you know God. The man forgets Him and utters, ‘Mine, mine.’ Bound by maya, deluded by ‘woman and gold,’ he goes down and down. The man has lost his consciousness while entangled in maya. He cannot run out of it even when there is a way. The song goes thus ­

The Mahamaya has created such maya with its magic

That even Brahma and Vishnu have lost their consciousness. What can you, O jiva (embodied soul), understand?

The fish makes pit and enters it. There is a way for it  to  come out, but  it does not.

The silkworm makes a cocoon and can escape out of it.

But such is the work of Mahamaya that the insect gets bound within its own cocoon and dies there.

“You people are yourself able to see that this world is transitory. Why don’t you see this very family? So many people have come and then departed, so many were born and so many died. The world now is and now it is not ­ it is transitory. They whom you call ‘my’ and ‘mine’ are not there as soon as you shut your eyes (in death). People do not have close relations, even so they do not go to Kashi just for the sake of their grandson. ‘What will happen to my Haru?’ There is a way out yet the fish does not escape. The silkworm dies in its own saliva it exudes. Thus the world is illusory, it is transitory.”

The Neighbour — Sir, how can I keep one hand at the Lord and the other in the world? If the world is transitory, why should I put even one hand in it?

Sri Ramakrishna — If you live in the world after knowing Him, the world is no longer transitory. Listen to this song ­

O my mind, you do not know how to farm.

Such a human field is lying futile (uncultivated). Were you to cultivate it, it would have yielded gold.

O brother, your crop will not suffer if you fence it with the name of Kali.

The fence of the Mother with long flowing hair is very strong.

Not even Yama (god of death) can approach it.

Today or a hundred years later it will certainly be snatched from you.

Now reap your harvest with all your mind.

Sow the seed given to you by Guru and irrigate it with the water of bhakti.

O my mind, if you cannot do so by yourself take Rama Prasad with you.

Chapter Two

How to realize God in family life

Sri Ramakrishna — Did you hear the song? ‘O brother, your crop will not suffer if you fence it with the name of Kali.’ Take refuge in the Lord, you will get everything. ‘This fence of the Mother with long flowing hair is very strong. Not even Yama can approach it.’ It is a very strong fence. If one can attain God, the world will not appear to him of no import. He who knows God sees that He Himself has become the world, its creatures and all that. You will feed your boy as if you were feeding Gopal[2]. You will see your father and mother as the Lord and His consort and will serve them. If you live in the family after knowing God, you generally don’t maintain any worldly relationship with your wife. Both of you being devotees will talk only of the Lord, on matters divine. You will serve the devotees. Knowing Him to be present in all existence, both of you will serve God.

The Neighbour — Sir, such husband and wife can be found nowhere.

Sri Ramakrishna — Such persons are there, only they are rather rare. Sensuous persons cannot recognize them. Even so, both of them should be good so that they can reach that state. This is possible only when both persons can derive divine joy out of it. Bhagavan’s special grace is essential. Otherwise, there is always some difference. One of them has to stay away. There is a lot of discord if the minds of both don’t harmonize. The wife may possibly complain night and day, ‘Father, why did you give me away in marriage here? Neither I have eaten well myself nor have I been able to feed my children. Neither have I good clothes to wear nor my children. Not a single piece of jewellery you have given me. What joy of life have you put me to in this house? You keep on repeating Lord, Lord with eyes closed. Give up this type of madness.’

The Devotee — These obstacles are, of course, there. Then, maybe, the sons are disobedient. How troublesome then! But then what is the way, Sir? 

Sri Ramakrishna — It is very difficult to practise spiritual discipline while living in the family. There are so many hindrances. I don’t have to tell you about these ­ disease, sorrow, poverty, discord with wife; disobedient, ignorant and foolish sons.

“Even so, there is a way. At times, you should go to a solitary place and pray to God. You should try to attain Him.”

The Neighbour — Should one leave the family?

Sri Ramakrishna — Not in the least. Whenever you are free, go to a solitary place and live there for a day or two so that you are detached from the family matters and where you don’t have to talk of worldly matters to any worldly person. Either live in a solitary place or keep the company of sadhus.

The Neighbour — How to recognize a sadhu?

Sri Ramakrishna — The sadhu is he whose mind, prana and soul are merged in the Lord ­ he who has renounced ‘woman and gold’ is a sadhu. He who is a sadhu doesn’t see woman with a carnal eye ­ his mind is always drawn within. If he happens to be near women, he looks upon them as mother and worships them. The sadhu is always thinking inwardly of the Lord. He talks of nothing but Him. And knowing that God is present in all existence, he serves Him. Broadly speaking, these are the characteristics of a sadhu.

The Neighbour — Does one always have to live in a solitary place?

Sri Ramakrishna — You see the tree on the footpath? As long as it is a small plant, it has to be fenced on all sides. Otherwise, a goat or a cow may eat it up. However, when the plant develops a thick trunk no fence is needed. Even if an elephant is tied to it, the tree does not break. If you can develop the trunk, there is no worry, no fear. First try to gain discrimination. If you rub your hands with oil before you cut the jack fruit, its milky exudation will not stick to your hands.

The Neighbour — What is discrimination?

Sri Ramakrishna — Only God is sat, all else is asat ­ thinking this way is discrimination. Sat means eternal and asat means transitory. He who has attained discrimination knows that the Lord is the only reality, all else is unreal. When you have developed discrimination, you want to know the Lord. If you are inclined to asat, you like to have bodily comforts, name and fame, money and all these. You don't feel the need to know the Lord who is sat Himself. When you know the real and the unreal, only then you want to find out the Lord. Listen to this song ­

Come, O my mind, let us go out for a walk.

Let us gather the four fruits[3] at the foot of Kalpataru[4], viz., Kali.

You have, O my mind, two wives pravritti[5] and nivritti[6]. Take nivritti on the way to the tree.

Ask ­ about the Lord ­ the son called viveka who knows the Real (God) from the unreal phenomenal world.

O, when shall you lie down in the abode of the blessed with purification and defilement alike by the side.

You shall see my Divine Mother as soon as all difference between the two co-wives ceases to exist.

Do you turn out your parents, egoism and ignorance.

Should mine-ness try to draw you into its hole do you cling to the post of patience.

Tie to a worthless post the two goats dharma and adharma.

Should they prove refractory, let them be killed before the altar of God with the sword of knowledge.

Admonish, O my mind, the children of your wife pravritti from a safe distance.

Should they not obey you, see that they are drowned in the sea of jnana.

Prasad says: If you go on like this, you shall be able to render satisfactory account of yourself to the Lord of death.

And I shall be glad to call you ‘my child,’ ‘my darling,’ the ‘idol of my father’ and other pet names; and you shall be indeed a mind after my mind.

“You attain discrimination only when non-worldliness comes to the mind. When you have attained discrimination, you begin to think of the essence. Then the mind has the desire to stroll under the Kalpataru (wish fulfilling tree) of Kali. When you go under this tree, when you are near the Lord, you effortlessly gather all the four fruits. You are only to pick them up ­ the four fruits of dharma (righteousness), artha (wealth), kama (desires) and moksha (liberation). On attaining Him, whatever a householder needs ­ dharma, artha or kama ­ he  gets if he so desires.”

The Neighbour — Why is the world called maya?

 

Vishishtadvaitavada (qualified non-dualism)  and Thakur Sri Ramakrishna

Sri Ramakrishna — So long as you don’t realize the Lord you must renounce saying, ‘Not this, not this.’ They who have realized Him know that He has become all ­ Ishwara (the Lord), maya, jiva (the creatures) and jagat (the world). Then they perceive that the world and its beings are nothing but He. If you were asked to weigh the bel fruit after its shell, kernel and seeds are separated, will you throw away the shell and the seeds and weigh only the kernel? No, you will also have to take into account the shell and the seeds, all these, while weighing. You can tell the weight of the bel fruit only when you weigh all of them. This world is the shell, the creatures are the seeds. While reasoning, they called the world and its creatures as anatmam (not the Atman). They called them unreal. While reasoning, you feel that only the kernel is the all important thing and not the shell and the seeds. In the next place, we reason that the shell and the seeds belong to the same substance to which the kernel belongs. Understand the illustration of the bel fruit and you will understand all.

“Anulom and vilom (evolution and involution). Butter goes with buttermilk and buttermilk goes with butter. If there is buttermilk, there is also butter. If there is butter, there is also buttermilk. If there is Atman, there is also anatma (non Atman).

“The Nitya (Absolute) belongs to the same Being to which the leela (phenomenal world) belongs and the leela belongs to the same Being to which the Nitya belongs. He who is perceived by the name of Ishwara has Himself become the jiva and the jagat (the world). He who has understood it knows that God Himself has become all ­ father, mother, son, neighbour, man and beast, good and bad, purity and impurity.”       

 

Sense of sin and responsibility

The Neighbour — So, there is no sin and virtuous act?

Sri Ramakrishna — They are there and yet not there. If God retains your ego He also retains your sense of differentiation and the knowledge of virtuous action and sinful acts. However, in a person or two, God completely erases the sense of I-ness. Such persons go beyond virtue and vice, good and bad. So long as one does not realize the Lord, the sense of differentiation and the knowledge of the good and the bad are bound to persist. You may say that vice and virtue have become one for you, that you do only what He makes you do but within yourself you know that these are mere words. When you do evil deeds, your heart palpitates. However, even after God-realization if He so wills He lets you retain the ‘servant I’. In that state the devotee says: ‘I am Thy servant, Thou art my Master.’ Such a devotee likes to hear Godly talk, likes Godly work. He does not like the man opposed to God, he does not like the work other than that of the Lord. When this comes about, God lets even such a devotee retain his sense of differentiation.

The Neighbour — Great sir, you say that we should live in the world after knowing the Lord. Can one know Him?

 

The Unknown and the Unknowable

Sri Ramakrishna — He cannot be known by the senses or the mind. He can be known by the pure mind, the mind which has no worldly desires.

The Neighbour — Who can know the Lord?

Sri Ramakrishna — Who can know Him rightly? It is enough if one knows as much as one needs to know Him. Where is the need for us of a small water well? A jug of water is adequate for us. An ant went to a mount of sugar. What need had it for the whole mount? A grain or two makes it so happy.     

The Neighbour —  What can a single jug of water do for the vikara (aberrations) we have? I feel the desire that I should know the Lord fully.

 

The world  ­ vikara (aberration) and its remedy ­ take shelter in Me

Sri Ramakrishna — Yes, that is true. But there is also a remedy for the vikara (disease of the world).

The Neighbour — Sir, what is the remedy?

Sri Ramakrishna — Company of sadhus, chanting His name and glories, and constant prayer to Him. I had said, ‘Mother! I don’t want jnana. Take Your jnana and take your ignorance. Mother! Kindly grant me only pure love at Your lotus feet. I want nothing else.’

“As is the disease, likewise is the remedy. The Lord says in the Gita, ‘O Arjuna, take refuge in Me, I shall free you from all your sins.’ Take refuge in God. He will grant you the right intelligence. He will take up your whole burden and then all your vikara (defects, aberrations) will be cured. Can you understand Him with this intellect of yours? Can a one seer jug contain four seers of milk? Besides, can anybody understand God unless He makes him understand? So I say, take refuge in God. Let Him do what He wills. He is Icchamaya (He has His own way in everything). What power does the man have?”

 

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