2
FIRE OF THE WORLD AND THE SHOWER OF
PEACE, BOTH ARE HERE
1.
Morton School, room on the fourth level. It is about half past seven in the morning. M. is setting on his bed facing west. The Younger Jiten, Vinay, Jagabandhu, Shachi Nandan, Gadadhar are seated on benches in front of M. and to his left. Buddhiram is telling beads on the roof.
It is 4th November, 1924, 18th Kartik, 1331 (B.Y.), Tuesday, the 8th day of the bright fortnight.
It is a little cold. M. has a muffler round his head and he has covered himself with a shawl. The Kathamrita is under print. He is talking to Antevasi on spiritual matters.
M. (to the devotees) What can a man not do if he wills? He can even gain Brahmajnana (the knowledge of Brahman), not to speak of worldly matters. One must have the will. Why are these English men enjoying the world? Because, they have a great desire of it. That’s why, it is so. One must have strong desire. Effort comes only after it.
"He who desires to see God can go very far. His grace comes only when the man has a strong desire. When one calls yearningly, the Mother comes and lifts one in Her arms, so said Thakur.
"One must have a firm determination. There are many who are soft like rice meshed in curd. They have no strength in their work. That is to say, they lack strong desire."
M. is thinking for a while, then he resumes his talk.
M. (laughing) Those people have the desire, so they finish the work of a year in one month.
"Some of the bhaktas did not have the opportunity to study. They had to take up some work during their early years. Now they have the desire to study. They read the Gita, Upanishad and so on."
M. (to a particular teacher) The school boys receive a thrashing at two places here and then from their guardians. Even then, nothing happens because they have no desire.
"And what happens when one has the desire? One says, ‘I have baked (imitating the action of making chapatis) fourteen to eighteen chapatis like this.’ The Babus in whose house he was working would get angry on seeing a book in his hand. Out of fear he used to put the book under the stove. And he would read it when they had gone."
M. is pensive.
M. (to the bhaktas) Let us offer namaz for a while. If you stay here, you will not be able to budge. Or else, you may go out. If you keep sitting here, you will have to sit erect.
"One should meditate quietly nothing to be said. No word! No movement! One has to unite with Him sitting motionless.
"Once the Holy Mother was meditating when somebody came and called her in loud voice. Her meditation was interrupted and she began to cry bitterly. Hearing it, Thakur came running from his room. The Mother was in Nahabat. Then she regained her composure. People were told that one should never call out a person when he is meditating. No sound must be produced.
"Why does one sit shutting the eyes during meditation? So that the sight may not fall on other things. It makes the mind restless. One should make a firm determination before dhyana that one would not open the eyes for any reason.
"Is it a small matter to meditate, my brother? The canal meets the Ganga. There, it is the same water in both. By this yoga, the animal-man becomes a God. You see, all these three subsist in man: animal-man, man and God.
"Animality, that is to say low thinking only eating, sporting, behaving like a creature. Human-ness that is to say in which thoughts arise, high or low. He can establish his divinity by hearing the word of shastra and the guru. Divine that is to say the son of God amritasya putrah [the son of Immortality] to establish oneself on this feeling. It may be short lived but it comes only during meditation. When one is in His presence, this divine feeling gets well established.
"One should daily meditate a little. As one does so, this feeling awakens in the mind the feeling of divinity. I am the son of God, thinking in this way, one becomes so in the end. Only a little remains. So long as one is not in His presence, one should put one’s trust in the guru’s words. Guru’s words means the words of the avatara. Doing so, the faith firms up to a great extent. One has a little inkling of one’s divinity. In that state, lust, anger etc. get reduced, jealousy and malice subside. Knowing His presence in all, one develops love for all. That’s why Thakur used to say, ‘In dhyana, it is like the fish of a pond falling into the sea.’ "
This gentle reprimand of M. worked like a divine word. The bhaktas shut their eyes and sat there peacefully, feeling ashamed, just like the school boys afraid of the teacher’s ruler. M. meditates for an hour with the devotees.
Now they read the Gita the marks of a man of firm determination in Chapter 2:
dukhesvanudvignamanah sukheshu vigatasprihah,
Veetaragabhayakrodhah sthitadheermuniruchyate.
[He, whose mind is not perturbed by adversity, who does not crave for happiness, who is free from attachment, fear and anger is the Muni of constant wisdom. (Gita 2:56)]
M. (to the devotees) For example, Thakur. Unaware of grief and happiness, of respect and disrespect! How could he be otherwise? He always lived in the Self. He who can see God within and without has this state. Thakur had this same state, not for a day but all the twenty-four hours throughout life.
"Is that all? No. He had had all the states higher than this. (For him) God was not only within and without, but he knew himself to be God. This latter came along with the former.
"As a bhakta, he used to see God within and without. In divine mood, he used to see himself as God. Both these experiences, he had together. Except for avatara, no creature has this state.
"This is the ideal unperturbed in grief, no desire for enjoyment."
M. (to Buddhiram) You see, everything is possible if you will it. If you will, you can know the Gita and the Upanishad, the essence that lies therein.
"Have you heard the name of Vidyasagar Mahashay. He was very poor. His father used to write out accounts at six rupees a month. Vidyasagar Mahashay was studying in a school. He had to cook his own meals. He had four or five brothers living with him. He used to cook for all of them. And in between, he would find time to study. He was always a scholarship holder."
M. (to the bhaktas) All his good work, all effort, concerned worldly people. On the other hand, Buddhiram is doing all for God. What a difference! That is why that sadhu is called a Mahatma.
"While the Mahatma of other people calls himself a Mahatma. What a difference between the two!"
M. again reads the Gita.
M. (to all present) The purpose of all this is to fix the mind in God. Sadhan and bhajan are just to serve this purpose. They who have no other wish, they who have only this effort to make are called Mahatmas, great souls. They are the greatest who join their mind to Him or try to do so.
"Those who are Mahatma by self-estimation or those whom the world calls Mahatma, do they have such feeling for God? If the goal is not God, one is not a Mahatma.
"One does not become a Mahatma by service to humanity. Even so, if one serves the God within man, one succeeds.
"Only those who are Mahatmas have a steady intellect have a firm intellect, it does not shake. It goes a little this way and that way but then gets fixed in God."
"Their food, conduct and behaviour, everything are of a different type. They do everything uniting themselves with God. When they see that a work is taking their mind elsewhere, they immediately give it up. They give up even their parents, near and dear ones, riches everything.
"There is the world on one side and God on the other. When one see Him, the concentration of the mind is naturally attained. But before this, one has to practice.
"There is a lot of difference between an ordinary spiritually perfected man who has had darshan of the Self and the avatara. The avatara always lives in this mood. It is a natural state with him. Reason? He is God in disguise Satchidananda coming as a man.
"One has to bring together the whole mind and fix it in God.
"Thakur said to a bhakta (M.) with his own mouth, ‘If the whole mind gathers here (in Thakur), what remains there to be done?’ This bhakta used to keep looking at him with his whole mind.
"And he also said, ‘Thinking on me is enough.’ He said to the same person, ‘Verily I say, he who thinks of me will gain my wealth like the son inheriting the wealth of his father.’ His wealth consists in realisation of Brahman and samadhi.
"Who can say this except God? Who has such a broad breast?
"All the characteristics of a man of steady wisdom given in the Gita were visible in Thakur. And still more have been seen. Thakur’s life is a living commentary on the Gita. The Gita is Sri Krishna’s personal life."
Shachi It is quarter to nine.
M. (to the Younger Jiten) Then you must get up, get up please.
The Younger Jiten and another person rise. They say indistinctly, ‘Down with work, down with slavery.’
2.
M. has asked Antevasi to carry out a job the previous night.
M. (to Antevasi) Where is Singhavahini? Can you find it out by tomorrow morning? Is she in Kashi Mullick’s house or in Matisheel’s house? If you take a morning walk you can find out. Thakur had the darshan of the Mother in Yadu Mullick’s house. She had been there for a long time. Since Thakur saw Her, offered Her his pranams and prayed to Her, the Mother has been awakened. Please go and immediately bring the news of Her. And please offer Her pranam. We shall also go later on to offer our pranam.
"This is called bhakti. Whatever is done by the avatara or whatever he has asked to do should be done by the bhaktas. These are what one must live with, what else? Swami Vivekananda said, ‘Train the hand by moving it on the traced letters.’
"Men talk ‘bhakti bhakti.’ When told how it is gained, they do not want to do that! Determination is needed. What cannot be achieved with determination?
"Thakur used to say, ‘I used to roam about like a mad man to see where they had installed a god, where Bhagavata was being read, where the Gita was being read and such other places.
"In the beginning, one has to all do this. When one does so, the mind is able to relieve itself of regret. One does not feel bad later on in old age. Doesn’t the mind then say: What have I done for Him? That brings a great grief to the mind. This is repentance. So one should do all this when one is still young. Later on, one has to sit at one spot and ponder over. One should live with what one has seen or heard.
"Is the Singhavahini something trifle? Since Thakur had Her darshan, offered his pranam and prayed to Her shedding tears, She is an awakened deity.
"One should spend one’s youth, one’s life in this way. This is the best use of life."
It is six in the morning. Antevasi goes out in search of Singhavahini. He is accompanied by Jiten Mukherjee. On reaching Kashi Mullick’s house, they are told that Mother Singhavahini is residing now in the Matisheel’s house. The Mother accepts the puja of the bhaktas by going from one house to the other by turn.
The Mother is present in the Durga Mandap at Matisheel’s. She is covered over with gold, decorated with various kind of ornaments. The bhaktas return after having had Her darshan offering Her pranams by lying on the ground full of devotion and as desired by M.
It is about 9 a.m. The Morton School. M. is seated on a bench in the western end facing south in the veranda on the second level. Shachi is preparing meals in the western room.
M. is anxious for the news of Singhavahini. He is waiting for the bhaktas. His state is like that of the mother and father for their child or that of the children for their parents. No sooner does he see the devotees, he makes them sit beside himself on the bench and hear them in detail. What was the Mother wearing, which were the ornaments on Her body? Which flowers were put around Her neck in the garland, and so on. He asks, "Did you feel a joy on seeing Her? Did you pray for jnana and bhakti? You should do so. What you pray by mouth in the beginning later comes out from within. When you go to the temple, singing hymns are necessary. You should also sit down there and perform japa and dhyana. You should also take charanamrita (sacramental water). You should examine everything in detail so that it leaves its mark on the mind. If you do so, you can relive the same darshan and meditation while sitting far from there.
"Saying that these are superstitions and laughing them away will not do. If you want peace of mind in every condition, you will have to do all this. By doing it again and again, bhakti is born in the mind. In other words, one develops a relationship of love with God. And this is all what saves. Just as worldly life is a burning fire, there is arrangement of abundant showers of peace of God. The story of the Lord, places of pilgrimage, sadhus, shrines and so on, they all constitute showers of peace.
"He who has created the fire of the world, has also arranged the means of gaining peace."
The devotees see that, though M.’s body is there in the Morton School, his mind is fixed on the Lord. It is roaming about in places of pilgrimage, in tapasya, in shrines and in the company of sadhus.
While listening about Singhavahini, M. is fully inspired. He stands up and gets ready to go to the nearby Thanthania for the darshan of Mother Kali. With him are Vinay, Shachi, Gadadhar, Buddhiram, the Younger Jiten, Narendra and Jagabandhu.
M. is going through the Bechu Chatterjee Street. He enters Ghosh’s house close by. Here, they worship Mother Jagadhatri. Then he goes to Mother Kali’s temple.
M. meditates sitting towards west of the door in front of the Mother. The bhaktas are all behind him. After half an hour, taking some charanamrita of the Mother, he gets up. He goes towards Thakurbari. The devotees are with him. He says, ‘Please go to the school building. I shall come a little later.’ The devotees have brought the prasad of beguni and muri.
It is twelve o’clock. M. returns from the Thakurbari after his meals. He rests in the veranda of the second level.
Manoranjan comes in all of a sudden. He belongs to Faridpur. Having got down from the carriage just now, he has come to offer Pranams to M. He has to go to Beleghata. There, he is working with the great devotee Shuka Lal. He is the manager. Manoranjan is unmarried and a devotee. M. makes him sit close to himself and talks about the propagation of Thakur’s name in East Bengal.
In the cabin close by are residing Antevasi and Shachi. Their food is on the boil. M. says, "When the meal is ready, offer it to the Mother and then take it as prasad. It is going to take time. Till then, sit on the floor and sing the Mother’s hymn. Sometimes, Thakur used to make the devotees offer food after it was cooked in this way. Then, they would all sit together and partake of it. He himself used to sit with them. Why he made them do so, I have understood after so long. The mind which becomes worldly by constantly thinking of the world becomes godly by thinking continuously of God. This is the way of the mind. He would say, ‘The mind takes any colour in which it is dyed.’
At M.’s behest, the bhaktas sing the hymn to Chandi. Now, it is the worship of Jagadhatri.
namo devyai mahadevyai shivayai satatam namah,
namah prakrityai bhadrayai niyatah pranatah smatam.
[Salutations to the Devi, to the Mahadevi, salutations always to Her who is Ever-Auspicious. Salutations to Her who is the Primordial Cause and the Sustaining Power. (Durga Saptashati 5:9)]
ati saumyaatiraudrayai natastasyai namo namah,
namo jagat pratishthayai devyai krityai namo namah.
[We prostrate before Her who is at once most gentle and most terrible; we salute Her again and again. Salutation to Her who is the support of the world. Salutation to the Devi, who is of the form of volition. (Durga Saptashati 5:13)]
M. is sitting nearby listening to all this, eyes half closed, and tears of love flowing from the corners of his eyes. The bhaktas carry on the kirtan for an hour, as if intoxicated.
They are now sitting in a row for community meal. The devotees are taking prasad. They are Jagabandhu, Shachi, Vinay, Gadadhar, Buddhiram, the Younger Jiten and Manoranjan. M. looks on.
Six in the evening, M. leaves by Dr. Bakshi’s car for Chitpur Adi (Brahmo) Samaj. He tells the devotees, "Reach there on foot. There is no room in the car. Thakur used to say, ‘One should go to the shrine of a deity with humility, taking the trouble of going on foot.’ I am old now, isn’t it? I cannot walk."
Sri Ramakrishna went to Adi Brahmo Samaj to attend their prayer. It is there that he had pointed to the young Keshab Sen, ‘His bait piece has sunk.’ That is why this Samaj building is holy for M. M. is very fond of the hymns sung in Vedic emotion and the reading of the Vedas here. The prayer service is held every Wednesday. A particular devotee has been given the responsibility of going there and reporting to M. which song was sung and which text of the Vedas was read.
The devotees set off for the Adi Samaj on foot the Younger Jiten, Vinay, Shachi, Jagabandhu, Balai, Shanti, Gadadhar, Buddhiram and so on. They reach the Samaj temple at quarter to seven. A little later arrive the Younger Nalini, the Younger Ramesh, the Elder Amulya and the Stout Sudhir. The Stout Sudhir is the reporter for here.
The bhaktas have reached there after the arati of Jagadhatri in the house of Nandis in Thanthania.
M. listens to the reading of the Vedas in the Samaj mandir and thereafter the prayer.
Eight in the evening. M. enters the house of Amrit Lal Guha in the Chor Bagan accompanied by the bhaktas. Amrit is a devotee of Sri Ramakrishna. He is very dear to M. He had brought Mother Jagadhatri to the house. So M. and the bhaktas have been invited.
M. is seated close to the path in the Thakur Shrine facing south in the northern corner of the western door. The devotees having offered their pranam to Thakur are taking prasad on the roof. M.’s eldest son Prahas is also taking prasad.
At the time of leaving, they come to know that Vinay’s sandals are missing.
In the house in front, hymn to Kali is being sung downstairs ‘The bee of my mind drinks deep at the blue lotus-like-feet of Mother Shyama.’
Nine p.m. M. is standing in Thakur’s courtyard in the Matisheel’s house. In front of him is Mother Singhavahini. He has Her darshan again and again, offering his pranam by joining his hand as if he is seeing Her alive. He is in a serene mood as if the son is saying something to the Mother in the language of the heart.
The Bhagavata lila is being enacted in the Nata Mandir on the Mother’s agaman (arrival). Calcutta is full of joy today.
Morton School, Calcutta,
Wednesday 5th November, 1924,
19th Kartik, 1331 (B.Y.),
9th Day of the bright fortnight,
22 Dandas/5 Palas.