1.

M. – Those who like the sadhus of the math, you may know, are also sadhus — some openly, others secretly. But, they are all sadhus even though they live in family. Why do they have love for them? Because of their renunciation. They have come leaving behind their home, their near and dear ones, their learning and intellect, all these. Why? Because, even the maternal, paternal and other love appeared tasteless when they were intoxicated with Thakur’s love.

"Thakur’s love, that is love for the Lord. Thakur himself said, ‘Sachchidananda has come in this body.’ And he said, ‘One day I saw Sachchidananda coming out of within and saying: I incarnate in every age.’

"Just see, how the leeila of the avatara enacts itself. He said it so clearly, even then people don’t believe. So hard is the veil of His maya. Unless He removes it, it is impossible to rend it. Thakur used to say, ‘When you cry with extreme earnestness, He listens. One has to cry giving up all.’ Such a straight path Hhe has shown, yet nobody wants to go to Him. One’s sanskaras stand in the way."

A Babu – There is a picture of Thakur in Shah Sahib’s house.

M. – What is there to wonder at? Everybody is calling on the same God. His names and forms are different. But, in reality He is one. Thakur said, ‘He who calls on Him with a sincere heart, shall have to come here.’ And he prayed to the Mother, ‘Mother, all those who come here with a sincere heart, grant them their desire.’ If anybody wants God sincerely, Thakur’s bhava will surely reach him. That is why, there is a picture of Thakur in Shah Sahib’s house. I hear that there was a picture of Thakur in Pavahari Baba’s house too.

A Devotee – But why couldn’t the rishis recognize Rama? They said, ‘Bhardwaj and some others call you an avatara but we are worshippers of the Indivisible Sachchidananda.’ Didn’t they call upon Him sincerely?

M. – Everybody does not have the same state — there are degrees of sincerity too. Besides, there is no proof that all the rishis had realized God. May be, some had His darshan later. Possibly, they had realized then that Rama was Param Brahman. Rishi is a common appellation, like the word sadhu. Among sadhus, there are perfected persons as well as the imperfect ones. But they are all called sadhus. The same is with the word rishis.

"We hear that Totapuri had come to Thakur after receiving the divine commandment. To preserve the worldly custom, Thakur received training from him. And it is from him that Thakur gained Nirvikalpa samadhi. But, Totapuri could not recognize Thakur as avatara. On the other hand, Thakur recognized him. Later, Totapuri could know by Thakur’s grace that he was an avatara, . Thakurthat Thakur was not only a pupil of his (Totapuri) in the knowledge of Vedanta. Therefore, he could not leave Dakshineswar in spite of so much of efforts, till Thakur let him depart. So, he was there for eleven months. While he nowhere stayed for more than three days.

"Besides, it is all His will. If He wills that they must not recognize him as avatara, how can it be otherwise? You see, even Brahma and Indra could not recognize Sri Krishna in the beginning. They thought that he was some powerful spiritually perfect person, full of yogic powers. But later on, they knew in dhyana that Krishna was avatara, Param Brahman."

A Particular Bhakta – Why did Thakur call rishis ‘bhayatrase’ (awed)?

M. – These people perfected themselves on the basis of the principle that Brahman is the reality and the world an illusion, and that aham Brahmasmi (I am Brahman). They had His darshan. The world is the sport field of Mahamaya. There was always a fear that they might not be later thrown away in it. The rishis and munis are also made speechless by Mahamaya — that is to say hesitant because of awe. Keeping this feeling in his mind, Thakur always used to pray, ‘Mother, don’t enchantbewitch me by Your world enchantingbewitching maya.’ It is for teaching mankind that he used to pray thus.

"And just see this. He says, ‘He who is Param Brahman, Indivisible Sachchidananda (Existence-Knowledge-Bliss Absolute) has become the world and the creatures by assuming name and form. The Mother Herself is Brahman, my Mother Herself is the world, and I the son of my Mother. Whom should I fear then?’ These are different words in different states."

M. (to the devotees) – Just see this. He himself says that he is the avatara. It is not that a few persons have sat down together and made an avatara of him. Arjuna also says the same in the Gita — ‘Svayam cha eva bravishi mae’ (10:13) — You Yourself say that you are the avatara. Asita, Devala and Vyasa also say that you are avatara. Since You Yourself say, ‘I am avatara,’ so you are avatara. It is the same with Thakur. He indeed is God, He who creates, preserves and destroys; Hhe is Sachchidananda avatara; Hhe is the Mother, he himself is the son. And he is the guru of the bhaktas, guru of the world.

A Particular Bhakta – Why did Brahma want to live in Vrindaban as a man? Vyasa Deva has written about this.

M. – To enjoy the sweetness of the sport of the avatara, to taste pure bhakti, prema bhakti. Brahma and other gods are no doubt Brahman. But they are worshippers of the glory of the Lord. There is no sweetness in it.

"Had Thakur not come at this time, nobody could have understood all this. The intimate devotees of Thakur are satiated having tasted this rasa (sweetness). So, they are able to understand it by His grace. It is a great bhava (feeling) to come in a human body and talk to Bhagavan as man and love Him — to live with Bhagavan in a human body in the same attitude in which man lives in the world. It is for this reason that Brahma willed that he should live in Vrindaban as a resident of Vraja. Thakur, the being of infinite moods, came as avatara and enjoyed the ecstatic love with the bhaktas — this too is a bhava."

M. (to all present, referring to unmarried brahmacharis) – Those who have not married have a great chance. Great spiritual personalities are still there. Those who use their intellect too much will be deceived. One must get initiated now. The birth anniversary has just gone. By getting initiated early, a link is formed. Later, one has a claim (to (be initiated into) brahmacharya.

2.

M. (to the sevaks) – If you have to find excuses, there are many — ‘I am unwell,’ ‘who will look after the house?’ and so many others. How do they say — he is never in want of an excuse, whatever is the subject.

"Thakur used to say, you see, ‘There is one plough and so many oxen in the house. This is what is called a house.’ The Christians say, and it is also in the Bible, ‘I have a newly wed bride. How can I leave her behind?’ (Laughter). There are so many excuses and objections.

"One sees so much, hears so much yet the awakening does not come. Such are the sanskaras. When it does not come now, one has to know that one’s karmas are not yet over. And it will not come in any birth. There are so many facilities now. The avatara has now come down. He has made curds with milk. He has churned it, made butter out of it and giving it in the hand, he says, ‘Son, have this. Eat it.’ How much of love, what an arrangement! The babus are not willing even then to eat it. The companions of his leela are still there. Such a golden chance will never come again. Using one’s intellect too much will lead to deception.

"Yes, they, the people of the Math, say, ‘You are not keeping fit. How then is it possible?’ Alright, you are not well. If one has a body, there is bound to be some disease. But it gets cured. Manindra has been initiated into sannyasa in the Math. He was suffering from fever for so many days. Besides, he had a wound on his foot. Even so, he embraced sannyasa. Why not, why will he not ask for it? How can one get such an opportunity again? They know one’s antecedents. So, they initiated him the moment he asked for sannyasa.

"But if you say in the beginning (you are ill), they will also understand (there is no real longing for it). They will say, ‘Yes, it (fever) is there?’ If you say, ‘No, I must be initiated,’ they will also then give it."

M. (to all present) – Thakur used to say, ‘There is only a thin line. On one side of it, there is heaven and on the other hell.’ This is a thin line of demarcation.

"What is that line? It is tyaga — renunciation, renunciation of women and gold. To go and stand in the path giving up women and gold. That is the vantage ground. The path is straight from there — a straight road."

M. (to the brahmacharis, indirectly) – It is before your own eyes. The people who were roaming about, about whom the members of their family and the people of their country used to say that they would never come to any good, have joined that (Math), and without any effort they have immediately become gods. They are no longer their previous selves.

"And you also see, how much trouble there is in family life when one marries. When I had to face troubles one after another, Thakur would point out to them (Narendra and others) and say, ‘Why does he have so many troubles? It is for your teaching.’ He would add, ‘Just see, what a terrible place is the household! If one lives in it, it’s bound to happen — howsoever clever one may be, even then.’ Such a daunting place is the household. So, he said that the household is a ‘burning fire’."

M. – Some people say that there are so many things to do there (in the Math). The whole of the time goes in it. One cannot practise sadhana and bhajan. And then, the work one gets there, may not suit one. Relief work, hospital work, school, college, newspaper — such jobs make the mind restless.

"Let one do such a work for a while, it does not matter. The son of the family will ultimately return home. One may attend to some work. That should be done as Thakur’s work, under instructions of the guru. That is selfless service. It purifies the mind. Without selfless service, one cannot gain spiritual knowledge."

M. (to the brahmachari) – One sees this as well as that. Even then one does not want to budge. He is in for deception. They say that the crow is a very clever bird but it dies while eating other’s excreta.

"(After thinking for a while) "What does it matter if the problems of the worldly people are difficult. The avatara is there to solve them. Only recently Thakur came. He was more concerned for the householder devotees. They get involved too much — theirs is a complicated case. The avatara has just come. What is’s the worry?"

The Elder Jiten (laughing) – Brothers beware! The cow-dung cake is burning while the cow-dung is laughing.

M. (getting irritated) – Thakur scolded Krishandhan once. He said, ‘You are taking this even as a joke!’ It is’s a question of life and death. It is a solemn moment of life. And one laughs even at this! He was silenced at once with one reprimand.

Sudhir – Today the acharya asked me, ‘Why you people worship Thakur’s image?’

M. (smiling) – Yes, they do not believe in avatara. So, this question. Thakur used to say, ‘If you go to eat ber you have to take its thorns also.’ You should listen to the reading of the Vedas and come back. Even if you lecture to him, he will not listen. You must come back.

"Doctor Babu went to lecture in the Cossipore garden. It resulted in a trouble^*.

"The avatara has to come to change the sanskaras, faith and customs. Advaita called Him out, ‘Lord, please come.’ So Chaitanya Deva came. Later on, he used to say sometimes in bhava, ‘You yourself asked me to come here.’ If one desires that they (customs etc.) should be changed, one has to call on Him."

M. (to the devotees) – From the sublime to the ludicrous — in our rhetoric it is called pathos. What do the householders live with? Forgetting Him, they are engaged in sensory pleasures. Some of them while doing all this, still find a little time out of it to call on Him. Eating, marrying, bodily pleasures continue in full. While sitting at the table one says, ‘Bring me this, bring me that. Why have you not cooked that thing?’ He takes his constitutional walk in the morning and evening. Besides, he goes out in the evening chewing betel with a stick in his hand to take fresh air. While doing all this, one must shut one’s eyes (in meditation) for a while.

"And then, think of these people, the sadhus, who giving up their all are standing on the road. They call on Him night and day like a desolate mother. The son is dead. The mother thinks of nothing else but him. Similarly, they are not at peace within till they attain Him. They go here and there, look for Him from one place of pilgrimage to the other. They sit deep in the forest in the Himalayas and weep for Him. They had everything — education, intellect, respect, all this. But they gave up all for Him. Like the chatak (bird) they only want the pure (rain) water. They do not accept sense pleasures. They have forsaken all as if it was the dropping of a crow — that which the householder runs after. They are whole time men and the householders are part time men.

"There is no knowing where he will go and where he will stay. Who will look after him in illness, he does not know. The medicine for the sadhus is Ganga water and the doctor God Himself — oshadham Janhavitoyam vaidyah Narayano Harih. How they long for God! Religion of seriousness! Religion isof practice! Some indeed care so much for it. To give up all and stand on the path, he says his ‘but’. But Thakur says, ‘When one takes a step forward for Him, He comes a thousand steps forward and takes him.’ Tat prasadat param shantim sthanam prapsyasi shashsvatam (Gita 18:62). (By His grace you will gain supreme peace and eternal abode). By giving up womaen and gold one gains immortality. Fear not, go ahead. He is waiting for you. He will raise you by holding your hand."

Morton School, Calcutta

Wednesday, 17 February, 1926

5th Falgun, 1331 (B.Y.), Ashwini Nakshatra

The 5th day of the bright fortnight

17 Dandas / 33 Palas.