M. IN THE GODIAGAUDIA MATH FOR THE
FIRST TIME
1.
The GodiaGaudia Math is situated close to Pareshnath temple. A festival is being celebrated here. A teacher from the Morton School has gone there to attend it as desired by M. It is now 3.30 p.m. Another teacher, Jagattaran has also accompanied him.
Today it is Thursday, 11 September 1924, 16th of Bhadra, 1331 (B.Y.), the 13th day of the bright fortnight, 22 Dandas / 26 Palas.
There is a big gathering on the festival spot. On one side there is community singing of hymns, on the other the distribution of prasad is taking place. The devotees are seated partaking the prasad of khichri, tarkari etc. Both the teachers are asked to take prasad. Thereafter, they go round the festival site. Outside on the walls of the nata mandir (concert room) several great sayings from the Vaishnava scripture have been inscribed. Both the teachers read them. They are very inspiring. The sadhus of this math wear gerua cloth and the brahmacharis wear white. All of them are holding a small bag containing the rosary. They all the time count beads. Here only Gauranga is worshipped, and the scripture is commented upon.
Nearby there is the temple of Pareshnath. It is a Jain place of pilgrimage. A lot of money has been spent on both the temples. It’s a place worth seeing in Calcutta. Both the teachers see this place and return to the sight of the festival. One of them offers pranam to Gauranga and takes leaves. Jagattaran stays back.
The bhaktas are assembled on the terrace of the Morton School on the fourth level. Durgapada Mitra, Doctor Kartik Bakshi, Vinay, the Younger Nalini, the Younger Raomesh, the Younger Jiten, Shanti, Jagabandhu and others are there. They are waiting for M.
It is 8 p.m. M. returns from Thakur Bari. He hears all about the festival of GodiaGaudia Math from Jagabandhu. Now he converses.
M. (to the devotees) — It would have been good if you had also gone there. One should go to the Lord’s festival even if it involves some inconvenience. This helps to increase one’s devotion. And if along with it there is prasad also it increases still more. (Everybody laughs). No, this is not a matter to laugh at. The human body is made up in this manner. If a little food goes into it, the atman within wakes up. Without a little food the body does not last. And if more of it is taken it presses upon the body.
M. (to a young bhakta) — Thakur has put such glasses on the eyes that all religions look like my own. He does not let me see any difference between the Hindu, the Muslim, the Christian, the Buddhist, the Jain, and also the Shakta, the Shaiva and the Vaishnava. He Himself is playing in different forms. One takes more of it, which suits one. But one must not look down upon any religion and disregard it. He enjoined upon us to have faith and reverence. Why? Because all of them belong to Him you see, that’s why. He who only loves his own religion and finds fault with others does not really love God. This one should understand.
"Does He only look after these few religious creeds? He looks after the whole universe. He creates this universe, preserves it and then also destroys it."
M. (to all present) — Thakur told us, ‘Once I felt the desire to go to a limitless tract of land to see how the animals and birds live there. While returning from my native place I got down the bullock cart and ran towards a field. I saw that in the middle of this vast expanse rows of ants were moving up holding a piece of paddy in their mouth.’ Later, narrating this incident he said to the bhaktas, ‘Just see, how He preserves the whole universe. He has arranged all kinds of food for all – for the gross, the subtle and the causal bodies.’
M. (to Mohan) — I received another light. And it is very important indeed. I have received an evidence of those who went to the Mount Everest expedition. They say that they saw a black spider at a height of twenty one thousand feet. There is no vegetation there. Those people could not find in spite of their research any means of subsistence. Those who went were highly educated and scientific men. They undertook extensive research to find out what the black spider ate to live. But they could not tell anything.
"And at a height of seventeen thousand feet they saw so many insects. As they dug a little of snow, they found numberless insects wriggling under the snow.
"Just see, what a wonder it is! What can one understand of this strange universe? There is nothing to eat anywhere, even then they are alive. What can you say about it? The Evolution theory does not work here. One will have to create another.
"How does it go on? Just see, the water has turned into ice, yet the water underneath is warm. And the fish live in it. The Everest is only this much and yet they are not able know to about it. What can they know about this infinite universe?"
M. is silent for a while. He talks again.
M. (to the bhaktas, pointing out to the sky) — He has become all these – Mars, Venus, all these. These are the planets of our sun. (Pointing at the numberless stars) Do you see these numberless stars? Each one of these stars is a sun. They also have their satellites. Numberless, numberless they all are – all infinite. What can man understand by his wisdom, by his calculation? The Everest belongs to the Himalayas – the Himalayas compared to the Earth is one by eight hundredth part of it.
For the last many days M. comes to the roof and sees the stars for a long time at two at night – for over two hours. He also generally says to the bhaktas, "Just cast a glance above, what a phenomenon is happening there. Till today nothing has been known about a single star above. That being so, the man’s pride and the sense of doership do not last?" M. sometimes says to his grandchildren, "Why you do you not see the stars? Tell me, when will you come to the roof to see the stars?"
Antevasi is very tired today. So he is lying on a bench nearby towards the south. The Younger Jiten has been to the Math. Coming back, he gives some prasad to him. M. takes off the slippers from his feet and accepts the grain of prasad with devotion. He says, "Why do I take prasad? Thakur said that the Mother would be angry if one does not take it."
2.
Next day. 6 p.m. M. is strolling on the roof on the fourth level of the Morton sSchool with a stick in his hand. In between, he talks to the two young boys Tota and Bhola, his grandsons. These two brothers are flying a kite near the ‘Tapovana’ (forest for penance) to the north of the roofterrace. He talks to the children in a broken conversation, "Yes, why don’t you put on the shoes? Put on the shoes and fly your kite." He talks as he walks three or four footsteps – he is pensive. And then he says, "Well, you do not come out at night to see the stars. When will you come, tell me?" He begins to stroll again north-south, and then says again, "How beautifully are these stars hanging, like the electric bulbs swinging in the Nnata Mmandir (concert room)! You should come at night and see these?" And hHe again begins to walk and says, "The stars have their home far away. It is more distant than the sun you see. And they are bigger than the sun. What are they doing, tell me a little about it? They sing the praises of the Lord, what do you say?" Both the children reply, "Yes, they do." M. says, "You will also offer namaskar to the Lord both morning and evening. Offering namaskar is also puja."
Now, M. comes to the southern part of the big terrace. Here Antevasi is resting lying on a bench. As M. approaches he stands up. Now he talks with M.
Antevasi — Rajni Dey of Sri Hatt has sent a letter.
M. — Just read it what does it say. It is Good, it is good that he has reached his native place. This is very good.
(After hearing the letter) "It is good that he has gone. Who would have looked after him during his illness? That’s why he has gone. This time of the month of Bhadra is bad. His mind is like that of a sadhu, he is a sadhu like man. Please write to him in my name, ‘When you get well, come to have the darshan of Sri Dakshineswar and Sri Kamarpukur. During spring Sri Kamarpukur is nice. This auspicious desire of yours [to visit these holy places] is very good. Recover completely before you come.’ "
Rajni came from Sri Hatt for the darshan of M. He lived with Antevasi in the school building itself. After staying for several months, he fell ill. Now, he has gone back to his native place.
M. now talks with Jagabandhu.
M. — Well, what happened in the GodiaGaudia Math yesterday?
Jagabandhu — The devotees and God-in-the-poor were served. We also took prasad sitting with them. Jagattaran was with me. He distributed some pamphlets on God written by him.
M. — Where they are, haven’t you brought any?
Jagabandhu (bringing them from his nearby room) — I have brought them, here they are.
M. (putting them in his pocket) — Very nice, I shall see it later.
Jagabandhu —The sayings of Chaitanya Deva are inscribed on the wall of the nata mandir (concert room). For example, ‘The real nature of man is to be ever the slave of Sri Krishna..,’ ‘mMercy for the jivas, interest in the name of the Lord is the food of Vaishnava,’ and so on.
M. — I should go there once. I can go by Doctor Babu’s car. Well, it is already evening. Let me offer Namaz?
M. sits down to meditate even on athe bench. He is facing south. Close to him is seated a bhakta. After some time the Younger Raomesh, Upadhyay and others arrive. They also sit on the benches and meditate.
M. (after meditation, to Upadhyay) — I have not seen you for many days. Where all did you have company of sadhus?
Upadhyay — Why? I came here last Sunday.
M. (lLaughing) — That is true. But what after it? Do come and sit down here.
Pratap Upadhyay is somewhat hard of hearing. He rises and goes to sit on M.’s bench.
M. (to the devotees) — Tulasi Maharaj (Swami Nirmalananda) will feed sadhus and brahmacharis in the Math today. It would have been nice if some of you went there. Now it is too late. It is very good if one enjoys such an opportunity while living with sadhus. It is only when one has good sanskaras that the joyful Self within wakes up. The external joy pulls out the internal one. Besides, the internal joy also attracts the outer joy. Did I know all this earlier? Thakur showed all this so tactfully. It is very good to enjoy such an opportunity with the sadhus.
"Now what shall we do? Let us send our mind there. Aha! what sacred formula Thakur has taught us – it is enough even if one sends one’s mind there. The mind gets dyed in the colour of the place where it stays for a long time. Can one find such occasions always? One should go to such places and serve sadhus. He who serves can also become a sadhu.
"Just see, how many arrangements are there for preparing the mind. The images, the idols – all these are to prepare the mind."
Droplets of water fall down from the sky.
M. says to the bhaktas, "Let us go and sit in the staircase room. It is raining."
M. takes his seat on a chair in front of the stairs. He faces south. In front of M., there are two rows of benches lying east-west. To his left hand there is another row. The devotees are sitting on all these benches. The earlier current of thought is still flowing within M.’s mind.
M. (full of emotion, to the bhaktas) — Thakur would see something special. That is why, he did not like anything else.
"He said, ‘Rakhal says: I don’t like family life because of you. He keeps on thinking what will happen to his wife.’
"He also saw something special. So, he says, ‘I don’t like sensory enjoyments.’
"He says to a bhakta (M.), ‘What need is there to go at home? Stay on here.’ The bhakta says, ‘There is such and such illness at home.’ He replies, ‘Well, if there is such an unfortunate happening, the people of the locality will come and attend to it. You stay on here.’ He saw something special when he said so.
"Who but the Sat-Guru (real preceptor), the Lord, can say so? He would always see that only God is real and all else perishable. So one should go on staying with the Lord. That you call your own is perishable, it will not last. It is yours only for two days. God is your own till eternity. That God now has come down now in the form of Sri Ramakrishna."
"Christ was once living somewhere with his devotees. The devotees had rounded him from all sides. A person came and said, ‘Lord, your mother has come.’ He was then in a divine mood. Surprised he said, ‘Mother, what are you saying? You people are my mother, brother and friend, all these.’
"Aha, what do these people see something special and go mad for it? That is why, Thakur was mad ever saying, ‘Mother, Mother.’ How can other people understand it?"
Doctor Bakshi, Vinay, Vinay’s brother, the Younger Jiten and some others have arrived. Antevasi whispers to the Doctor that M. was desirous of going to the GodiaGaudia Math. So the Doctor says to M., "The car is here. Let us go to the GodiaGaudia Math."
M. — Yes. I was thinking of going there to have the darshan of Gaur. But it is raining.
M. goes downstairs. The devotees also take their leave. It is 8 p.m.
M. comes and takes a back seat to the right in the car. Jagabandhu, the Younger Jiten, Vinay, Vinay’s brother and the Doctor are also with him.
The car moves on the road of Sahitya Parishad via Maniktala. It stops at the gate of the GodiaGaudia Math near Pareshnath temple. M. comes out of the car and enters the western gate of the math facing towards east. Outside there is a very thin drizzle. M. utters softly, "Gaur, Gaur." The shrine is to his left. M. has the darshan with folded hands. Today it is the day when Sri Gauranga puts on finery. The idol faces south. It has a crown on the head, an orange coloured Banarasi silk cloth on the body, and a folded white shawl on the shoulders which is hanging on both sides to the ground. Only Gaur is worshipped here.
M. putting the cloth around his neck offers pranam by lying prostrate on the ground. A brahmachari, holding a bag of rosary for japa, asks Antevasi with great curiosity, "Who the man is?" Antevasi says, "Sri M., the writer of the Kathamrita." The brahmachari says joyfully, "I also guessed the same."
M. enters the nata mandir (the concert room) by the north-western gate. It wasis lying north-south. There is a cotton carpet on the floor. M. sits on it facing south. The bhaktas sit to the right and left of M. M. has a folded shawl of raw cotton on his shoulder. It covers his back. Behind him is seated Antevasi.
On this cotton carpet, the Bhagavata is being read in its southern side. A Vaishnava in gerua clothes is explaining. He is facing west. In front of him on a small flat table has been placed the Bhagavata. On the three sides of it a number of Vaishnava bhaktas, brahmacharis and sadhus are seated. They all have a tilak (holy mark) on their forehead, a tuft of hair on the head and a bag of rosary in the hand. Some of them have shaved the hair of their head. The speaker has a big tall body. He is 35 or 36. On his face he has a beard touching both his ears. He has hair on his head.
He is explaining the essence of ggurudom.
"The guru is a form of the Lord –
Guru Brahma, guru Vishnu, guru devo Maheshvarah,
Guru sakshat Parbrahman, tasmai Sri gurve namah.
[The guru is Brahma, the guru is Vishnu, the guru is Shiva. The guru is Para-Brahman Himself. I bow to you Sri guru.]
"There is absolute need of the guru-bhakti (devotion to the preceptor) to realize God. When a devotee has such a firm bhakti, he attains his ideal. But if for any reason, he is an obstacle on the way to God realization one should give him up too. Bali, the king of asuras (demons), left his guru, Shukracharya. On the other hand, this also has been said, ‘Even if my guru goes to a pub, he still is my guru of everlasting bliss.’ "
Having heard a little of these comments, M. rises. M. again has darshan of Gauranga and pays him his obeisance. At this moment two householder devotees of the math recognize M. and request him humbly to take prasad. M. says, "Yes, do give me some in my hand. They bring some bundi and malpura (sweetmeat fried in ghee) in a small earthen plate and give it to M. in his hands. M. receives prasad with folded hands and touching to his forehead passes that small earthen plate to Antevasi.
Outside there are continuous showers of rain. M. gets into the car and the bhaktas also go in. The car returns by the saome road by which it had come. M. says near Maniktala, "I feel very inspired on seeing them. I am reminded of the assembly with Chaitanya. He used to live in Puri surrounded by such devotees with shaven heads. One is inspired with enormous bhakti. But is there real purity everywhere? One should take as much as one finds it to be pure."
The car comes and stops at the Amherst Street. On the footpath in front of the Morton School, Balai is walking up and down waiting for M. M. comes out of the car and enters the courtyard. The Younger Jiten gives prasad to everybody. The bhaktas take their leave and M. climbs upstairs with Antevasi. He says, "I want to see all kinds of bhaktas at one place. They all call on Him. This is the real life. Becoming bee one must only take honey."
Morton School, Calcutta
Friday, 12 September 1924
27th Bhadra, 1331 (B.Y.), 19 Dandas / 2 Palas
Ananta Chaturdashi (14th day) of the bright fortnight.