1.

M. (to Antevasi) — Where is the place for doership? Just see, for the last few minutes how difficult it was to breathe inside the room. As we came on the terrace, it made so much of difference. The natural, healthy feeling has returned. What happens to your sense of doership if there is no air for an hour. All will be dead. That being so, what for is so much of ‘I,’ ‘I’?

"Just see, if one doesn’t get food in time, one’s mind and intellect cease to work. In so helpless state is man! Yet he says that he is the doer. Can you tell why he who is so conditioned by water, air and food has so much of ego? Otherwise, the world will not last. Therefore, Mahamaya has arranged in this way.

"It takes the mind contrary to truth. The Truth is, God is all. And the untruth, I am all. This clash between the two is the world. Even this is generated by God Himself. At times, He makes some chosen person understand that He is all. Then he cannot run the household.

"Why this arrangement? When birth after birth the man is crushed day and night by the wheel of the world, he wishes for peace and happiness. They tell the way to this peace and happiness whom God shows the truth. Sometimes He Himself comes down as a human being and shows His fearless, peaceful and joyful face to some people. Having seen it, the bhaktas merrily sing His glory untiringly night and day, full of bliss: We have seen Your unique loving face. Now what fear of sorrows of the world under Your reign.

"Only the other day, God came down as a human being in Dakshineswar. He has graced us by revealing His real Self. The bhaktas fell into suspicion – he was a brahmin priest on one hand, and thea loving Father and God on the other."

M. (to Mohan) — This mind of ours is conditioned and controlled externally by all these – water, air, food etc. and internally by our past habits. Only the guru can save us from this precarious state. Guru that is God come as avatara. All external and internal conditions are under his control. Nobody else has the power to do so. Therefore, the consistent proposition is to take shelter at his feet. Only then will come peace. Then life and death will look like the body changing its coat. Then alone one becomes ‘vigatabhi’ – fearless. ‘Abhayam vai praptosi Janak’ (O Janak, you have now attained the state of fearlessness). Yajnavalkya said this to Janak when he noticed this state of his.

"Whatever sorrow and fear there is, it is because one calls one’s body as ‘me’. Whereas if one calls God or the soul as ‘me and mine’ one becomes fearless, peaceful and joyous."

Lakshman — Somebody has invited me for meals on a shraddha (death anniversary ritual). Should I partake of it?

M. — Thakur would not allow it at all. He said: It is not at all right to eat at a shraddha – particularly that of a person who has died recently. If you eat there you also share the sins of the deceased. Since that food is offered to the ghost (of the man), it is impure. One the other hand, if it is offered in the name of God,, it may be eaten. This is a transcendental point of view. Even if you see from a physical point of view, how heartless it is! A person is dead. Instead of mourning for him one puts so much into one’s belly.

A Certain Bhakta — Is there an alternative if one doesn’t perform a shraddha?

M. — This is an injunction according to the scriptures. So it must be performed. However, if one being a jnani does not do it, it is not wrong. If one prays crying before Him, God, the deceased will be redeemed by it. ‘Tasmin tushto jagat tushtam’. When God is satisfied, all are satisfied.

M. (to the bhaktas) — One should serve one’s father and mother. Otherwise, one has to live in hell for eternity. They drown one in molten iron being heated in cauldron on blazing fire. So say the scriptures. Such is the affair!

"Even so if one renounces everything and embraces sannyasa there is no sin for him. Then God Himself God carries away all his sins. If one doesn’t do so, one must serve one’s parents. One has to go to hell if one does not serve them.

" ‘Sarva dharman parityajya mamakam shar- - -nam vraja’ (Gita 18:66). Sarvadharman means surrendering all duties to Me, seek refuge in Me alone – that’s what the Lord says. He further adds, ‘Aham tvam sarvapapebhyo mokshayishyami’ – I shall absolve you of all sins, so I promise. Next he says (to a certain person), what’s that?"

The Bhakta — Ma suchah – grieve not.

M. — ‘Aham tvam sarva papebhyo moksha yishyami,’ means that the Lord, Sri Krishna, had taken all the burden of Arjuna. The burden of these three – of his body, mind and soul. Besides, He takes upon Himself the burden of all one’s actions, of the prevcious life as well as of this life. This is called self-surrender – to live in the world as His slave.

"If the father and mother can take the responsibility of their son at home, why can’t God do so for his bhakta? What’s the doubt in it? Who has even given the concern the parents have for their children? God, of course. He takes the burden of the whole world and of the bhakta He takes it personally. The universe is moving according to the rules He has made whereas the bhakta moves according to His direction.

"Grieve not! Why did the Lord say so? The mind is calculating, you see. Vice and virtue have become one with one’s ego. I have committed the sin and I will perform meritorious acts – such is one’s thinking. That’s why, grief and fear result from one’s worry at committing sins. Therefore, He said to Arjuna, ‘Grieve not. Leave all to Me and enjoy yourself. Be assured,’ – just as the child who has his father and mother.

"(To Lakshman) "The service of sadhus that you have taken up will do it. It is only when the Lord is satisfied that the service of sadhus becomes possible. When the mind is inclined to serve sadhus it is understood that God is satisfied. The sadhu is a form of God. ‘Jnani tv atmai eva me matam’ (Gita 7:18) – the jnani is verily My very Self. ‘Jnani’ is he who has understood that God alone is the doer and I non-doer. How learned are these sadhus. But they have renounced their all for Thakur. If you serve them with a concentrated mind, He will take all Your burden."

2.

M. (overcome with grief, affectionately to Amulya) — Oh! Can one forget it? Is it enough to say that all this is nothing? We are not even capable of it. We all live with attachment and affection. When the child comes out of the womb, it is brought up from day to day. How much of laughter, how much of joy, how many kisses and feeding him! The child smiles in sleep, the parents only want to see him to forget the world in the joy of their affection. How much they do to bring him up. Can one forget this all of a sudden? All these affectionate memories are a part of one’s marrow. One has always been enjoying oneself with them. Now, all of sudden the mart of joy comes to an abrupt end. How can one erase these memories?

"That is why, Thakur was so pained on knowing that the bhaktas would suffer from all these pains. So, he used to say that theis world is a blazing fire. He used to pray for them, crying, ‘How can they live in this burning fire? So Mother, do grant them Your darshan at times.’

"A song says, ‘Grieved by the sorrows of jiva, God has come to dispense love leaving out everything.’ Songs by Chaitanya Deva say so. Chaitanya Deva said, ‘Nitai! How the great festivities in the name of the Lord are celebrated here (in Navadwip)! How enjoyable are so many other celebrations! But if I stay at home, people wouldwill think that I am indulging in worldly pleasures. In that case, they won’t follow me. So I must leave renouncing all.’

‘Aha! He left renouncing everything to redeem the jiva of his sorrows. It is after so long I have been able to realise that how much grace the avatara has for the bhaktas. He took upon himself all troubles for their good.

"Girish Babu had written a play, Jana by name. It talks of a mother who has gone crazy at her son’s death. Her brothers console her. But, she protests saying, ‘See, even Sri Krishna could not console Arjuna at Abhimanyu’s death.’

"Thakur once said, ‘There’s no stranger here. Everyone is our very own. Here is a deep secret. If you have to forget someone’s bereavement, always recall his defects. It lessens the grief.’

"A certain person (M.’s wife) was bereaved at her son’s death. I heard Thakur consoling her, saying, ‘O lady, he who came to you as your son was an enemy of yours of your previous life. So, he took birth from your womb so that he may defeat you. He is your greatest enemy.’

"The world is like a burning fire. Thakur used to be very worried thinking how the bhaktas would be able to live amidst it. That’s why he sometimes said, ‘You may lose fourteen seers of semen, but you should not have any son.’

"Such is the sport of Mahamaya. Even this intense grief too vanishes after few days. And the old sanskaras get awakened. One forgets even this inconsolable grief and takes to sensual pleasures again.

‘Therefore, he (Thakur) used to say to the bhaktas, ‘You will not sleep together in one bed.’ Since it is not usually suggested, ‘Don’t have more children,’ so he would suggest, ‘You should not share the same bed.’ "

M. (to the bhaktas) — Is it so easy to say that this all is nothing?. Is it nothing to lose the one, whom you have fed, dressed and brought up for so long? It is not so. If this is nothing, then going to office, eating and drinking are perhaps also nothing! If one sSays that the former is nothing, so the latter then is also nothing. – Iit is to realise this that one takes to tapasya, keeps the company of sadhus and lives in solitude. How would it do to say that all this is nothing?

"So long as Sri Krishna was there, the Pandavas could not understand that all this was nothing. That’s why yajnas and so much else were performed. As soon as Sri Krishna left, they understood that all this is nothing. Then after crowning Prikshit they left for the great go."

M. (to a certain bhakta) — This grief of the Elder Amulya too will be forgotten. Such indeed is the work of Mahamaya. He will first forget a little when he takes some water. So, many persons are now going himgive water sweetened with sugarcandy (pana). This all is the work of wind, you see. Grief and sorrow all manifest because of wind. This condition is the result of the concentration of wind. Pana is very useful, I hear. Thereafter, some cereal. Intake of cereal lessens grief. Then sleep. It also controls the wind. There are other things also. Thereafter, as one forgets gradually one begins to again enjoy again according of one’s old sanskaras (impressions of the past). One takes to the same fun, frolic and then produces children. Such is Mahamaya’s play.

"Bereavement makes many people mad – particularly that of father, mother, son, daughter, brother or sister. And some other things also bring grief, such as lack of money. I have heard that a foreign bank failed and a man turned mad. You see, he had high social contacts with the families of the Lords. He turned mad thinking how he would now bow before these people. Many a time people shoot themselves or commit suicide by some other means.

"Therefore, one should ward against it from the beginning? Before taking to japa-dhyana one should think over it daily. One should say to oneself, ‘What if I lose it?’ If one does so, one is not so much inflicted with grief. If you are ready beforehand, it won’t strike your mind as a bolt from the blue. Just see, Arjuna turned mad. Even Sri Krishna could not console him."

"(The first brother in a grieved tone) — Sister, gain your consciousness. The jiva is bound with the fruit of actions. No one can get rid of it. Your son was alive during the years granted to him. His time of life had ended, so he departed. All creatures tread their own paths. So long as jiva is not free from the fetters of his actions, he has life and death. At last when liberated, he lives in his real Self. Sri Ramachandra also underwent the trials of life in exile as a result of his karmas. The Pandavas were deprived of their kingdom and had to face the hardships of exile. Sri Krishna’s whole dynasty was destroyed before his eyes. Remembering about them, restrain your bereavement.

"The Second Brother — Just see, animals and birds, trees and creepers, men all take birth and die. Such is the law of nature. You, I and everyone else are subject to this rule. So you must also accept this rule. Have composure. Take some food and water. Why are you trying to destroy your life in vain? Be calm sister, be calm.

"The Third Brother — The Lord Himself is enacting this play becoming jiva and the world. You are also He, your son too is He and we all are He. It is due to His maya that I say, ‘I and mine.’ This is indeed ajnana (ignorance). The jnanis see the souls in everything and every creature. The soul does not perish. The body is perishable. Death is nothing but leaving the old garments and putting on the new ones. Your son’s real Self is atman. It never perishes. The jnanis help the jiva to attain his own real Self eschewing unsubstantial grief. Therefore, merge yourself in the thought of the Self and throw away your grief. Be your natural self. Remove your mind from the body and establish it in atman.

"Another Brother — We all are created by God out of hHis kindness. He by His grace provides us with the things we pray for and then He takes them back by His grace. He is all good. We due to our ajnana say, ‘This is mine and that is yours.’ In fact, all belong to Him. He had given your son to you as a loan. When the time was ripe He took him away. God is yours near and dear one too. He is also the near and dear one of your son. The Lord has taken back what was His, so it is not right to mourn. See sister, our father and grandfather have all departed. All have to go sooner or later. Your son has gone somewhat early – this is the only difference. If you really love your son, you should do what will bring him good. If your son having given up this body has taken up a much better body, you should be happy about it. This is how the great people do. Get rid of attachment. Look at it with jnana.

"This consolation of the brothers went in vain. Jana kept sitting silent, dumbfounded like a stone. Does this nectar of the words enter the ears of Amulya, grief-stricken on his daughter’s death?"

M. (to the Elder Jiten) — The only remedy for it is sannyasa. There’s no other remedy than deep dispassion. The sovereign remedy is to go far away. To go very far from all these sights and scenes for a few days. A new atmosphere leaves its new impression. Otherwise, the old sanskaras come back. And then one becomes what one was earlier. There is the feeder (food for the mind), that’s why.

"Thakur used to tell us this. There are two pits in a field. One of them remains filled with water while the other becomes dry. The dry pit has no supply from any feeder while the other has it.

"The same is with sannyasa – it has no feeder. When there is the feeder, the mind remains involved in the same sensory pleasures. How does that saying go? ‘I am the same goddess you fear.’ Then there is the slush and mud.

"That’s why the rishis have established the sannyasa-ashrama. That’s a higher plane. Grief and sorrows cannot collect there.

"Attachment, affection, grief and sorrows are bound to be there in the grihastha-ashrama (in the household life). If you always want to live comfortably in joy you must embrace sannyasa. This is what the rishis have been announcing loudly."

The Elder Jiten — The opinion of Kavirajs (that it is good to take sannyasa and run far away) is good. There’s nothing impure in this opinion.

M. — It cannot come about just by saying so. Practise what the Kaviraj says. Go far away in a secret and solitary corner. Otherwise, all grief etc. will come back.

"On seeing the room (of the deceased) your grief will again revive. The mind will say, ‘Aha, here he used to play!’ And also on seeing the pillow, bedspread and other belongings of the departed, grief will well up. But new scenes and sights bring a change to the mind.

"Just see the environment. The mother is inflicted with grief. The girls come and say, ‘O, please tie your hair. Don’t do like this, it shall bring harm to the husband.’

"See, there is no one who says, ‘He was your enemy. It happened for your good. Why to continue living in family? You have a golden chance now. Find your way.’ No one will say these soul awakening words."

M. (to a certain person) — It seems that the animals get over their grief sooner. They have to fill their stomach by working for it. Who is going to offer them sugarcandy water?

M. (to the bhaktas) — Homeopathy is safer than allopathy. The responsibility of the doctor is not that much. Their (allopathic) treatment is very drastic. Let there be so little of anything, they would at once apply surgery. (Laughing) If you have a knife in your hand, you feel like giving a little cut. If the head of the family has a strong common sense, he can guide the doctor.

"Just take the case of the girl who has died recently – what a bad condition she had! To begin with her foot was septic and on the top of it to operate on her! She had to take two blows. So her heart turned weak.

"That is the reason why Thakur could not eat anything offered by the doctors.

"I heard that she could be treated by applying an ointment. Instead, they operated on her!

"There are so many ways God takes one away – by flood, by earthquake, by disease and by the doctor’s hand. Just take the case of the girl who has gone, what shall we say about it? That He has taken her away through the doctor’s hand.

"They are so eager to extract even a primary tooth. If one waits for a couple of days the pain subsides. Instead of doing so, they advise its extraction. And then they extract the wrong tooth, i.e. the one that is not diseased. They have no time to think for it.

"A friend of mine had elephantiasis. The doctors advised an operation to amputate. Even the senior doctors said so. They charged thirty two rupees as their visiting fee. Thereafter, he got well on applying the ointment given by an indigenous doctor.

"Homeopathy is still better than Ayurveda. This is the best.

"It will be better for our Doctor Babu to take to Homeopathy. It lessens the responsibility."

Morton School, Calcutta

Tuesday, 29 September 1924

18th Bhadra, 1331 (B.Y.)

The third day of the bright fortnight.