READING THE KATHAMRITA IS THE HIGHEST COMPANY OF SADHUS
1.
Morton School, the bedroom of the 4th level. M., is lying on his bed. He is very tired in body. ‘The Kathamrita’ is under print — he has to work hard for it. Besides, he has backache.
It is about eight in the morning. M. talks to Antevasi about the printing of the Kathamrita.
M. (to Antevasi) – Please read the file of the second form of part fourIV to find out if there are any corrections to be made.
"And it would be better if you make a section as an appendix containing articles on Swamiji (V.N.). This will help the young men a great deal. When they see so many articles of Swamiji, they are frightened and do not like to proceed. Herein you have references to them. Gradually they will read all. They will become interested by reading all these and later go to the original writing.
"And another matter will come to their notice that how Swamiji has propagated the words of Thakur. This they will be able to see properly. Thakur’s words are as it were mantras, formulas. Swamiji’s words are their commentary."
Antevasi – By giving all this in the Kathamrita, will no harm come to its reputation that the Kathamrita only contains the words of Thakur?
M. – Why? It will go as an appendix. You see, every part has an appendix. This too will form an appendix.
"Its aim is to show how Thakur’s words work on the devotees."
M. is silent for a while. Then he resumes the conversation.
M. – It will be nice if the fifth part of the Kathamrita is started. What do you say?
Antevasi – One must first realize the state of one’s health before taking up a work in hand.
M. – Yes. I lost some of my hearing while writing one part of the book. It would be nice if somebody could help — I may lie down and speak, while he keeps on writing. This will also be meditation on Thakur.
"He would hand over a necessary book, orand open andor close the window for me. It would be very nice. You see, I have an old body. It needs rest. It no longer has the strength of youth. That’s why, the need of somebody’s help."
Antevasi – But before starting a work one should clearly see, understand, think over, whether the body can bear it. How much concentration it needs!
"And there is an another matter to think over. — tThose who are to be with you and to write, will they be available at the same time (when you need them)?. And are they ready to do so the way in which you wish to do?
"If the person is not of your mind, if the work is not done according to your convenience, you will have to do it all at last."
M. – Yes, once I start on something I am not able to focus my attention on left or right.
"I have thought it over that till the job of reprinting is over I will not go out. And when I have to live here, it’s better that I do it. I thought in this way."
Antevasi – It is very essential to bring out the fifth part. Everybody is waiting for it. Sadhus of the Math also want it. Many bhaktas also asked for it. Sarat Maharaj has talked to me so many times about the fifth part. He said, ‘If you people start it, it will be done.’ This is all right but one must consider one’s health before taking up a work in hand.
The bhaktas have assembled on the roof at the fourth level. The dusk is approaching. M. is in the chair facing nNorth. The bhaktas are seated on benches. Jagabandhu, Shukalal and Manoranjan, the Doctor, Vinay and the Younger Amulya, the Elder Jiten and Balai, Shanti and the Stout Sudhir and some others are there. A little later, arrives Durgapada Mitra (the Healing Balm).
Madhu Babu of Sri Hatt has come with a companion. M. talks to them. He says happily, "There are many devotees in that region. It is a region of bhakti. Thakur’s name is being spread in a good deal. It is said that there were sixty-four heads of monasteries of Chaitanya Deva. They all belonged to that region."
The evening light is brought in. Relinquishing all work, M. utters, "Haribol, Haribol!" while clapping his hands. It is followed by half an hour of Dhyana Yoga. Again, M. talks sweetly with Madhu.
M. (to Madhu) – One should keep company of sadhus. Thakur said, ‘Daily association with sadhus is necessary just like food, rest etc.’ By keeping company of sadhus the feeling of ‘Sat’ (Reality) awakens in the mind. When one goes to pilgrimage one should carry with tthis feeling of ‘Sat’ with oneself. Then one enjoys it.
"Otherwise, it is like visiting a place. One sees all only superficially — buildings and houses, the common man and so on. And when one goes there after having the company of sadhus, one sees within. This is indeed better. Then one comes full of life and joy. The subtle and hidden bhavas are all present in the holy places. They are all living. One comes across all of them. They are all everlasting bhavas. What are they?
"(1) God is the Reality, this is one bhavaidea. (2) God is eternal, all else is transitory, this is an another idea. (3) Therefore, serve Him, think on Him with all your heart and soul; this is yet another feeling. (4) The body you have today, tomorrow it may not be. So long as this body lasts render service to Him with it, not to the devils; this is another. (5) Serve the wife, son and relations taking them to be divine and take yourself as a maidservant in a rich man’s house. God has kept them all in the care of the maid. They belong to are Hims. Moreover, He has taken the form of all these relations. This is another idea. (6) All these relations are not mine, nor do I am theirs. Only God is their as well as my own. This one is another idea. (7) Before my birth these mother, father and relations were not there with me. After my death, too, they will not accompany me. Only God is always with me like the mother of a naughty boy — till the boy of the housefamily returns home. This is another. (8) God first, all else later on; this is another idea. (9) Why to stick to truth? Because by practising it, you will discover the great truth. What is it? That God alone has been my own since eternity, and all those whom we call our own in the world are strangers. This is another bhava. (10) How many great persons having forsaken wealth, relations, knowledge, intellect and kingdom, all, have embraced sannyasa for their own person — God — and are living on the holy alms of charity! They all roam about in places of pilgrimage. This idea also awakens in the mind. (11) I am the son of the immortal bliss, I am the servant of God or I am God — all these divine ideas rise in the mind in holy places by the holy touch of these centres of pilgrimage. (12) How many sadhus, bhaktas and great men live in these centres. One can have their darshan and talk to them — this idea is another.
"But all these feelings keep lying buried in the mind without the company of sadhus. ‘I visit places of pilgrimage because dozens of others do so. One my return, I shall be able to say that I have visited such and such holy places’ — all this is not right. Thus Thakur used to dissuade the devotees from going too often to places of pilgrimage. He would say: You have already been to Kashi and Vrindaban, haven’t you? That is enough. One is a centre of jnana and the other of bhakti.
"The greatest of all pilgrimage centres is Thakur himself. He is God in a human body. He about whom you wish to be inspired by visiting a holy place, is before your own eyes. What use then to go to a place of pilgrimage? Thinking thus, he would not suggest visits to many centres of pilgrimage.
(To Madhu) "It is nice to stay for a few days in Calcutta and keep company of sadhus. Go to the Math by a steamer in the morning and return at 9 or 10 o’clock. First do this, then you may go if you like. What do you say?"
Madhu and his companion take leave of M. M. goes down to the second storey for his meal. Now it is 8 p.m.
The bhaktas now start an interesting conversation on the roof and engage themselves in a severe contest of arguments. The leader of one side is Durgapada Mitra (the Healing Balm). The Elder Jiten leads the other side. Both of them are elderly devotees. The majority of bhaktas favour Durgapada. Other bhaktas form the audience. It starts as follows.
The Elder Jiten – The Guru keeps pulling the string — he grazes you sometimes there, sometimes here and pulls you back. Thus one’s desire for sensory enjoyments ends. One gains renunciation of sensory pleasures while one is engaged in sense enjoyments. That’s why, Thakur talked of intercourse with one’s wife etc.
Durgapada (interrupting) – If you like to eat grass you may eat it. But why do you pull others toward it? How do you know that all devotees feed on grass? Making a resolution of dying or killing, why not pull the fish immediately on the bank?.
The Young Man – You are right. If you have lost your tail why do you ask others to cut their tail? The bhaktas worship the flower honey. Why should you bring them on the grass — on this lowly article?
The Elder Jiten is silent. He cannot help talking. Now the conversation resumes.
The Elder Jiten – There is an old man living in our locality. But he is very fond of reading books. Why this fondness? Why read so much? What use is it? The musical notation should be brought to the fingers. Besides, hearing is better than reading. Thakur said all this.
Durgapada – Yes, all the words of Thakur are indeed Gospel Truth. But, he who has not heard all has to read, isn’t it? Besides, reading these days is included in the hearing of the past. After hearing, one should think over it and then perform nididhyasana (profound meditation about meaning or implication).
"I am talking of myself. I was very fond of reading. I used to read many books. Because of this habit, I came across the Kathamrita."
"You read the Kathamrita. It is bringing the greatest company of sadhus on the earth — this was said by Deven Majumdar, the bhakta of Thakur. How can you then say that reading is not good?
"Only he must bring the musical notation to the fingers who has heard a lot, read a lot. How then can you say, ‘It is not necessary for you,’ when the concerned person needs to hear? How can you patronisingly give your judgement on all these matters?"
Doctor Kartik – Thakur said that devotional text should be read. Reading by itself is not bad.
The Young Man (affectionately) – The old man reads only those books in which he is interested. The others read other books. Isn’t it so, Jiten Babu? You talk of his firm sanskaras. Isn’t it so!
The Elder Jiten – Does he read just one book — the story of the Duke and the Theft? That’s why I said, ‘Why read some other book even after taking payas-mundi (the pudding of cheese)?.’
Durgapada – Only if the payas-mundi was available to him!
The Young Man – One only talks of the payas-mundi. If one understands it by heart and soul, why does one go to graze the ‘grass’ of sensory enjoyment, as he says? Here one comes, hears all and sees all. Why does then one go into it?
Durgapada – He (the Elder Jiten) alone has understood...…
The Elder Jiten again receives a blow. He is silent for a while. But by nature he is talkative. He cannot but talk. So many times M. has told him that it is better to keep quiet. But he cannot. He talks again.
The Elder Jiten (slowly to Shukalal) – An old sadhu is residing in a house close to us. He is a Vaishnava Bengali. The place of his guru is Ayodhya. He is very short-tempered. He talks unnecessarily: How much salary one is drawing, the doctor earns more — only such things come continuously out of his month.
Durgapada (laughing) – ‘One’s nature does not change even after death.’ And then condemnation of whom? We ourselves live with it and yet we condemn others! Moreover, we support it with different arguments!
The Elder Jiten is the bench clerk of the High Court. He is stout in body, peaceful and devoted. M. has asked him to go to the Math and keep tThe company of sadhus. But he doesn’t go. On the other hand, he comes to have M.’s darshan almost daily. Durgapada regularly goes to the Math. The sadhus of his age group Swamis Shuddhananda, Dhirananda and other prominent sadhus associate with him like bosom friends. He is the manager of the ‘Healing Balm’. So, the sadhus affectionately call him ‘Healing Balm’. If necessary he argues with old and revered sadhus too. But he is a man of faith and devotion. He can read and write well, and has a good hand. He has sincere and deep love for M.
This happy session of talk would have gone on for Jiten Babu cannot keep silent. He wanted to say something more. Just then M. returned after his meal. So there is a sudden ‘cease fire’. To draw up a treaty the Elder Jiten goes under the shelter of M. The Elder Jiten is very sad — he is deeply hurt in the battle of arguments.
The Elder Jiten (to M.) – Sir, just tell me what is my fault? Whatever I say, they protest against it.
"I said, ‘Everybody eats ‘grass’ (enjoys sensory pleasures). Even so the guru holds on some with a chord. They have no fear. But there are some who eat in a different attitude. When the guru holds one and makes him eat, this he does for developing renunciation within him.’ "
Hearing this complaint M. keeps silent for a while. Then he takes their mind higher and within to the calm down both the parties.
M. (to all) -– Bhakti is the essence. Without bhakti there is nothing in argumentation and all that. A merchant sold all his possession to buy a pearl of great price. What is it? — bhakti.
Durgapada – Bhakti is a comprehensive term. It has degrees, grades and shades.
M. – Yes, one type is ahetuki bhakti ((pure, selfless love for God), Thakur said so. Yet there is also sakama bhakti (with desire). This is good too. Sri Krishna says in the Gita: The distressed, the seeker of the knowledge, the seeker of wealth and the jnani are the four kinds of devotees. They are all noble, large hearted, but jnani I deem to be My very Self, jnani tv atmaiva me matam. What is the whole sloka?
Udarah sarva evaite jnani tv atmaiva me matam,
Asthitah sa hi yuktatma man evanuttamam gatim.
(Gita 7:18)
[Nobele indeed are all these, but the spiritually wise man I deem to be My very sSelf. For steadfast in mind he is established in Me alone as the supreme goal.]
M. – Sakama bhakti (devotion with desire) is also good. By devotion with desire, too, also one can have His vision. Then there is no other desire in the mind of some. Dhruva had a craving for kingdom and he called on Him. God gave him His darshan and granted him a kingdom. But Dhruva soon developed aversion for kingship — he then gained enlightenment. He repents saying to himself, ‘Alas, Aalas! he whom even the great yogis do not attain, came and stood before me but I only asked for kingdom.’ His darshan erased his craving for sensory enjoyment. Then he ruled the kingdom for a long time but with Nnishkama attitude (without any desire).
"The householders perform puja and homa, give in charity, visit centres of pilgrimage and take bath in the Ganga — this all they do with some desire in the mind. Even this is good. When they will attain Him, they will no longer have this attitude.
"What do the men of the world live with? They have various kinds of desires filling their mind. How then can they then have ahetuki bhakti? They cannot understand, what is it to desire nothing but God.
"For this another ashrama has been instituted — that of sannyasa. In this ashrama one understands a little, has a little glimpse of what ahetuki bhakti is.
"Thakur knew that there were no buyers for ahetuki bhakti. So he used to say, ‘There is something like ahetuki bhakti.’ He mentioned it."
2.
M. is again silent for a while. Then he resumes.
M. (to The devotees) – Thakur sang a song to Vivekananda —
I am afraid of speaking it and also afraid of not speaking.
O Radha, I suspect that I may not later lose the great wealth you are.
I know theat mantra and you have also been given that mantra
By which one can overcome all troubles. Now it is up to you.
"There wereas some talk of his (V.N.’s) marriage. He (Thakur) was afraid that he might lose him. So he sang this song.
"Even the devotees could not understand earlier what is ahetuki bhakti. Later on they did. It is such a high ideal."
The Elder Jiten cannot remain quiet. He was earlier downcast after he got hurt in the war of words. M.’s devotional balm rid him of that hurt, but he forgot that very blow. He opened his mouth again.
The Elder Jiten (to M.) – Ramayat Babu was angry today with Haridasa Babu (Ramesh’s father) (Ramesh’s father and husband of M.’s sister’s daughter). Haridasa Babu had only talked of somebody else, that’s why. He saw, that he iswas found wanting when compared with Thakur’s words.
M. feels hurt with such small talk of low degree. So, he keeps quiet for a while. Now, he replies.
M. (to the Elder Jiten) – The anger of the sadhu is like a mark made on water. Hit the surface of water with a stick — the sadhu’s anger lasts only that long.
"What do people themselves live with? Even living in such a bad state they criticize sadhus! Don’t they feel ashamed?.
"It is different with sadhus. Their anger lasts as little as it takes for it to come.
"Just see, what men do under the pressure of desire. But when the sadhus have such a state they can suppress it. The object (of desire) remains present before the householders, so they cannot manage themselves. This is the only difference between a sadhu and a householder.
"Thakur said to Keshab Sen: You people can see a little light through the chink of the room. But the sadhu stands in the field and sees the light. This is the difference."
After a while the Elder Jiten again talks.
The Elder Jiten (to M.) – Well, I think I may ask you something. It is coming to my mind but I can’t understand it. I hear that an upheaval comes at the advent of an avatara. But how! I don’t see any sign of it among the devotees. The people are getting even worse than before.
M. (smiling) – It appears that, you are greatly worried about it.
The Elder Jiten – No, but I cannot understand it.
M. – Can we understand all? You have time and space. And there are all these stars. Which of these can we understand? They are all fundamental things.
"Tell me, how can you we understand? To understand Him with our ounce of intelligence! Shame! Is He so small?"
"But this I have understood that He does all. We don’t have to worry. If one has to worry, one must think of Him alone.
"Just take this death of forty three children in the orphanage when it fell down — all sinless children. They used to offer Namaz five times. Why did this happen? How can a human being understand it? Such an unfortunate accident also occurred in South India. Can we understand why such slaughter takes place? No. Has this made us the least wiser? Such things are heard only for a few days and then it is all quiet.
"Just as the ant said, ‘I will come again and take away the whole hill of sugar,’ this too is like trying to understand Him. God’s actions cannot be understood.
"With what will one understand? Isn’t it with this mind? Just as you can’t see the whole image in a broken glass, similarly you cannot understand all with this mind.
(To a bhakta) "There is a broken glass. What kind of image can it give? Not the correct image, isn’t it? It is the same with the mind. Trying to understand with such a mind! And it is with this mind that a man delivers lectures. One had rather sit down quiet and think over one’s wretched state. And it is better to hear and then meditate on what the Gguru says. Instead of doing so, one talks big things to others. It’s not right to practise guruship.
"The way Thakur scolded me on the second day of my visit to him I remember it till today. It left such a deep impression on my mind. He said, ‘Just this, these Calcutta people only lecture.’ He added, ‘I say brother, you will not have to worry for anything. He has kept everything ready. Places of pilgrimage, temples, sadhus and scriptures. And then he has kept ready the moon, the sun, rains and cereals to preserve the body before you were born. And also the milk in the mother’s breast! You have only to sit and call on Him.’ "
M. is silent. He again showers the nectarine words.
M. (to the devotees) – He used to say again and again, "‘Mother, why do you make me reason?’ One day he said, ‘There is something here (within his body).’ And he said on another day, ‘I see the Mother just like I am seeing this fan.’
"One has a glimpse of all this by keeping the company of sadhus. Just by sitting, one cannot solve anything by one’s intelligence. It is not the work of sitting on an armchair and behaving like a leader. The company of sadhus is essential — of those who have renounced all.
"A sadhu, in other words is he who tries to understand all these fundamentals, forsaking everything. What are these? These are that He Himself has created all this. We cannot interfere in it. Ours is only to call on Him. Those who do this are called sadhus. Did Thakur only enjoin upon us to keep company of sadhus? He created sadhus. These people want nothing else but God. Why did he make these sadhus? So that others may attain peace by keeping their company and serving them. The ideal of life is God realization — this they are holding on to. Other people forget this ideal amidst the various activities of the world. By associating with the sadhus, you are reminded of it. You can then live in joy. It is He who does all. Our duty is to keep our hold on Him — if you understand just this you will always have peace and joy.
"So long as you have the feeling, ‘I am doing, I am the doer,’ you have grief and restlessness of the mind. If you can get rid of the idea of doership, you can attain a lot of carefreeness, peace and joy by living as His servant. But this is very difficult. So the company of sadhus. When you take to it, it becomes very easy.
"You can also understand the great importance of pilgrimage by keeping the company of sadhus. What will it avail if you only go to a holy centre? That is why I asked Madhu first to go to the mMath and associate with sadhus. Thereafter, he could go on pilgrimage and attain joy.
"People do not want to budge. Some of them (the Elder Jiten) just sit down to talk at random. They don’t like to go to the mMath. You have found sandalwood. Further you have pearls, jewels and so many other things. Proceed ahead.
"Every arrangement is right. You have only to seek the company of sadhus. By doing it you will be eligible for the paramananda (the highest bliss)."
M. – The coming of the avatara has indeed brought so much awakening. So many groups of good people are embracing sannyasa. Besides, a longingyearning has also developed within the devotees. Just see, so many high class American and European people are responding to the words of Thakur.
"Thakur said, ‘When a big ship arrives so many waves rise and strike against the distant shores.’ The words of the avatara reach the ordinary man after some time. The teachings of the Buddha were propagated in the time of Ashoka. The teachings of Christ were also accepted by the people later on. It will also take some time for the common man to accept Thakur’s teachings."
Morton School, Calcutta
Thursday, 28 August 1924
12th of Bhadra, 1331 (B.Y.)
13th day of the dark fortnight
18 Dandas / 51 Palas.