M. (to Jagabandhu) — Just read. (To the bhaktas) All of you are going to listen to the visit of Thakur to Vidyasagar’s house.

M. (full of surprise, to the bhaktas) — How can one like to read and write about what one has seen through the window! O, have you gazed on the sky from the window of the room! Speechless one becomes. Where do we lie in this infinite affair? This affair of His is infinite indeed - infinite the sun, infinite the moon, infinite the satellites - everything infinite. We think that perhaps our earth is everything. But it is not a fact. There are so many other infinite bodies like the earth. He is the creator of them all. It is Him that these proofs talk of. Brahman is beyond vidya and avidya (knowledge and ignorance) . . . What is Brahman, nobody can tell by word of the mouth. Brahman has never been defiled by the touch of the tongue.

M. — And this affair! Who has the capacity to understand it? That’s why Thakur scolded Krishna Das Pal: ‘I can see that you have the intellect of a widow’s son.’ Thakur had asked him: ‘What is the duty of man?’ He replied: ‘To do good to the world.’ It was then that Thakur had said so. The intellect of the widow’s son means a low intellect. The son of a widow grows into a man after great difficulties - having taken recourse to many low means. That’s why it is a low intellect.

"Then he said: ‘Is the world so small that you can do good to it? He who has generated this infinite creation will do good to it. You, the lowliest of the lowly, insignificant person, who are you to do good to it? Rather, you should say how to do good to yourself. He inheres matter. By serving Him you do good to yourself. Talk of service, not, doing good. It is not given to man to understand His worldly sport.

"We get a little glimpse of it because of Thakur’s advent. Otherwise there was all darkness. He came, so we found with great difficulties a little hole. By seeing through it one has had a little glimpse of the Beyond. It is all infinite. On this side it is nothing but darkness.

"Thakur said, ‘One day the Mother showed me a huge wall. Nothing could be seen beyond. With great difficulty. I made a hole in it with my nail. But soon it got covered up. After a lot of difficulty I was able to make a big uncovered hole. Through this opening I saw all, the infinite - the endless - the boundless all.’

"Having narrated this, Thakur asked a devotee (M.), ‘Tell me, what is that hole?’ The devotee said, ‘Of course, you are it.’ He was very happy to hear this. At times, he used to test the bhaktas to see whether they had caught the meaning of his words.

"The avatara is that hole. Through him a man can know a lot about God. There is no other way. Mahamaya is all powerful. Everything is under Her, so said Thakur. Is it simple arithmetic? No, it cannot be calculated - it is beyond calculation, all this.

"The yogis can see a portion of it by His grace. In the beginning he evades your touch. You wish to catch Him, but He doesn’t let you. It’s like light with in a lantern, you can see it but you can not touch it. When mahamaya by Her grace lifts the veil, you can have glimpse of Him. You can touch Him. What happens then cannot expressed by word of mouth. A salt doll went to fathom the sea but it never returned - never told any thing. Who will tell? He who was to tell is no longer there - his individuality having merged in the universality. The Ganga has lost itself in the sea. The Ganga has become the sea. Even when this state is reached a few persons are sent back by Him for teaching humanity. Only they can give some idea of that state. It is like the dumbman’s feelings on seeing a dream. He can only utter ‘gain, gain’ in joy. But mahamaya makes one forget everything. She does not let you know."

Dr. Bakshi — What should one do so as to be able to touch that light?

M. — Weep with a yearning heart. Thakur used to say, ‘It comes about when one cries yearningly like a child for his Mother.’ Except for the Mother he likes no one. It is then that Her grace dawns.

"So tapasya is needed. Is it a subject of debate or a table talk. If one can forget one’s home, husband, son and daughter, mother and father all - like the gopis becoming mad shouting, Krishna, Krishna - they even forgot that they were women, so full of Krishna they were. It comes about only in such a state - It happens only when we have got rid of our calculating intellect.

"Is He so small that you can catch Him? The rishis have divided the creation into fourteen regions. By this they are able to give some idea of it. The truth is that He is infinite and so is His creation. It is to make one understand this idea that they have used the term fourteen regions. Nowadays one can have a little idea of it with the help of science. They say that there are an infinite number of stars and each star is bigger than the Sun. If it be so there are infinite universes - infinite suns, infinite stars and infinite universes. Just by seeing a little, Arjun began to tremble. So that’s it."

M. (to the bhaktas) — Even though He is so great, He comes down for the bhaktas assuming a form. He comes as a human being for the bhaktas. You see it was only the other day that He left. Wasn’t Thakur God himself? He said himself: ‘I am that Akhanda Satchidananda (Indivisible Existence-Knowledge-Bliss Absolute) I have come now as a man to do good to you.’ Are these our words? No, they are the words from his mouth.

"He cannot be caught unless He lets you. He came down in a human form. He was a human, absolutely human - a man who had to answer the call of nature, who cried like an ordinary man. The ordinary man only sees this. Here too, there is a veil, a magic. However, he would show a little, a very little of his self from time to time to his intimate disciples. It is like lifting the curtain a little to show a room from within - it is like the mother-in-law giving a glimpse of the newly-wed bride by lifting her veil a little. He kept himself covered with sorrow and pain, poverty.

"One can only know Him if He wills so. There is no other way. If one wants to know Him one should go mad after Him - this is what Thakur told Ishan Mukherji. If one sets about it with great courage, determined to do or die, then alone it can come about."

M. (to the bhaktas) — Please raise your eyes and look around. All around you there is union of Shiva and Shakti. All the four directions are covered by his meshes of maya. Purusha and Prakriti (the Lord and the nature) everywhere. And it is He who arranges for the protection of this infinite phenomenon. Father and mother, son and daughter - all these relationships are also He. He Himself takes the form of love and ties the man’s mind with it, then alone the world survives. For the propagation of the world, he has assumed the form of sensual desire: dharmaviruddho bhuteshu kamo asmi - in creatures I am the desire, not contrary to dharma (Gita 7:11). Just like the two halves of a grain of gram, everywhere there is the union of Purusha and Prakriti.

The Elder Jiten (frightened) — All darkness - nebulous.

M. (with assurance) — No, you cannot say this. If it were so, it would amount to predication, describing His form. But there is no predication in His case. One cannot describe His form by word of mouth. All that can be said is ‘Neti, Neti’ - not this, not this. This is one side to it.

"And there is another side, that of avatara, man-god. The avatara comes to awaken a few countable persons - a selected few. He has strong concern for these people. It is His sport. What else?

"When it rains, the water falls on all the seeds. But they grow into different kinds of trees. It is the same with the avatara. The rain of his grace falls on all, but everybody manifests it externally according to his sanskaras. The seeds are different. Seed that is sanskaras - one is a Hindu, the other a Muslim, a Christian and so on.

But He is attracted by only a few persons."

M. (to the bhaktas) — This business of joy! What can a man understand of it? If one meditates, one should meditate on it alone. The planets, the satellites, all move because of the light of the sun. It is with His light that all the infinite phenomena take place - tasya bhasa sarvam idam vibhati.

M. (to a certain bhakta) — Parallel glasses are used in the laboratory. If you put light in front of one glass, it is reflected into numberless lights. It is the same with the world, an infinite series. This is the last thing, it can not be described.

M. (to the Elder Jiten) — What a great arrangement He has made to preserve this creation! The union of Purusha and Prakriti is the main item. The items next to it are water, air and fire, summer, rain and other seasons, and cereals. Thereafter the love of the parents. And what else besides? And just peep inside your body, what is happening there? Is it not amazing?

"I read in a newspaper that seven boys were born to a girl, one after the other. If such a thing can happen in miniature, why can’t whole universe come out of the belly of Her who is the Mother of the universe?

"All these are arguments by analogy. However, they are not less forceful - they are all most scientific."

M. (to the bhaktas) — We are the children of Rajarajeshwari (the queen mother of all queens), we should keep this in mind. In the case of the son and the father, the horse and the soldier - the former takes after the latter at least to some extent. The qualities of the father and the mother are inherited by their off-springs. So Thakur said, ‘He who meditates on me will inherit my wealth just as the son inherits the wealth of his father.’ Are we small people? No, we belong to a high family. The bhaktas need not worry - those who meditate on Him should blow over their sacred bodies as they go along.

M. (to all present) — Somebody asked Thakur whether God was with form or formless. Thakur replied, ‘I have seen the Mother in both these aspects. I ever see Her likewise. She is the Indivisible Existence-Knowledge-Bliss Absolute. And she also assumes different forms for the sake of devotees.’ He added, ‘I saw the Mother at the Kalighat. She was playing with little children, catching butterflies. On another day I saw Her walking on the Ganga at Kalighat.’ And on another day he said, ‘You see, the Mother has come wearing a red-bordered sari. She has tied a bunch of keys to the corner of the sari.’ A whole roomful of people were sitting in Thakur’s room in Dakshineswar. Keshab Sen was also there. It was then that Thakur said so. And he talked to Mother in the presence of everybody. One could hear one side - Thakur’s words, the words of the Mother were audible to Thakur only. One day he said, ‘The Mother is climbing up and down the temple. The little bells of Her anklets are ringing, and one day he said in the Cossipore garden: ‘Today I saw the Mother playing on the veena. During the days of his sadhana, Thakur remained absorbed in the formless aspect of the Mother continuously for six months.

"All these are Thakur’s declarations. There is no but about them. Those who believe will reach the goal; those who cannot accept will not attain Him in any life. They will be left behind. Now is a great chance. It is only recently that He came - everything about Him still lies scattered here and there. The echo of his words is still ringing in the ears. The meeting is only just over - its sounds have not yet completely faded out. It is a great chance - you have only to launch the boat of yourself. The favourable wind will itself push the boat. No more reasoning or discussion. The first thing is faith, the second action. The meaning of just one of the sayings of Thakur is realized after the tapasya of a whole life."

M. (to Dr. Bakshi) — Where is the time for reflection on this infinite work of God? There is always the anxiety of how to satisfy one’s hunger. So, Thakur was happy whenever he saw persons who had the wherewithal and didn’t have to worry for their food. He used to turn his face away whenever he saw anybody always worrying about one’s food. If all the time one worries about one’s food, When will he think on God?

"Did he ignore or find fault with them? No, not so. He came to place a particular ideal before us. Besides, he hadn’t much time. That’s why he said so. He used to yearn for God all the twenty-four hours of the day. He came so that people should see this state of his and learn to yearn for God. He came to demonstrate how to love God. Whom could he denounce? He himself was all. He lived as one with the world. Somebody beat the boatman, he felt the scar of it on his own back and he began to moan with pain.

"Seeing those who were troubled by the want of food and clothes, Thakur would sit before the Mother and cry, ‘Mother when one is in want of food and clothes, his mind doesn’t concentrate on God.’ When some bhakta didn’t have a job, he would ask other bhaktas to manage it for him.

"He came only to place the highest ideal before us. He did it so quickly and only to a few, and departed. The way to get rid of sorrow and misfortune is either to see God or gain the knowledge of the Self. Man is the child of the ever-blissful Mother. Once you know this, all sorrows vanish. There are not many sorrows to which the body is prone but the pain of the cycle of birth and death never ends. It was to show the path - how to get rid of this great pain - that he came. He showed it and left. He showed how to get rid of the pain, of food and clothes and that too through the people of a lower class - they will first deal with the problem of the want of food and clothes. He injected into them the feeling of pity and shame. But, the main purpose for which Thakur came was to dispel the everlasting pain and to substitute it with peace and joy. So he pushed the bhaktas out of their worldliness, and showing them his real nature, made teachers of them, made heroes of them and then departed in the twinkling of an eye. These persons have realised that God comes first and the world next."

M. (to a particular bhakta) - What can man do? He has a body, you see. And because he has a body he has all these problems. Where there is individuality, it has to be so. This individuality, this I-ness is indeed the main force which makes the worldly business move on. Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, they all say the same. There is pain and sorrow because we live in the world. Even an old man wants to keep the vow of the day of fruit meals. It is because of individuality that all these problems exist.

"There are some articles in a glass cupboard. You can see them all but cannot touch them. Boys try to catch hold of the exhibits in the museum but they cannot. There is glass in between. In the same way, the ego is the veil, which is individuality. If, however, by His grace, this veil is lifted, the jiva becomes Shiva. Then there is nothing like His creation etc., what survives is something which cannot be expressed.

"The main attempt of Thakur was to direct the man’s sight towards the thing beyond the creation. He himself granted such a sight to some and united them with that thing. Others also he advised to try turn their gaze away from the world patiently and unite it with Him who is the creator of the world. He has also shown how to do it: Uniting the ego with God, live the worldly life. Live in your house like a maid servant of God, the way a maid lives in a rich family. When you have a body, your I-ness is bound to be there. You have to make use of it. Do your work but, don’t enjoy it’s fruit. Give it to God. Like the maid having a right only to food and clothes, you also take that much. This is known as nishkama karma - selfless action. This also helps gradually to erase one’s I-ness. Otherwise because of your I-ness you will have to be reborn to reap the fruit of your actions. And you will also live happily in this life.

"One can not see God because of the consciousness of the body. This is the same thing as I-ness. You may live with your I-ness after uniting it with Him through your intellect. Gradually the mind will get considerably purified. Then you will see that light. But transparent veil of the glass will still remain. In other words the mind, the intellect, the consciousness and the I-ness, they all will get purified, but the basic avidya (spiritual ignorance) will remain to some extent. One can not touch that light through the glass. One feels one can touch it but cannot. The yogis go through such state. It’s like sitting beside the door frame of a house. A glow of joy is seen as coming out of the house but the door is shut from within. To destroy this basic ignorance is only possible for God. Man can only try to do this much. Generally speaking this much progress is sufficient. One should sit down there and cry for sometime, laugh for some time, dance and make merry. All these things have been given by Thakur to the bhaktas."

M. (to the young man) — There is no fear if you can hold Thakur. Didn’t he say himself, ‘You will attain simply by thinking upon me.’ But it is difficult to hold him. There is no splendour about him - he has come concealing himself completely.

"Many people talked of Vivekananda as a great man. They used to say, Ramakrishna has such a big man as his disciple, so he is famous. Thakur used to live in the spirit of humility. They could not recognize him. Thakur would treat everybody with consideration. He said to Keshab Sen, ‘You people are bahadoori wood while we are Havate wood.’ Those bhaktas thought that Ramakrishna was not so high as Keshab Sen. So the members of the Brahmo Samaj used to quote Thakur. They used to say, ‘Just see, he has himself said that he was ‘havate wood’ and Keshab was ‘bahadoori wood.’ (Everybody laughs).

"And just see, he went to Vidyasagar and said to him, ‘You are a ship while we are just a fishing boat.’ He said to Narendra: ‘Father-in-law’s house.’ These men of Brahmo Samaj used to talk of all these things but they did not understand their significance. So they would give the wrong meaning to it.

"Thakur was neither after name not affection, nirman moha. He used to give respect to others to make them big. By seeing it the bhaktas will give them more respect. They would think that when the Paramahansa (Thakur) pays so much respect, they must be really great. The father gives to his son what he wants of him. Thakur also used to give respect for the same reason. Sometimes the father also gives respect to son when he grows old. It was the same here but the followers could not understand the meaning of Thakur’s word.

"A person from Tagore’s family Jatindranath Tagore by name, sent somebody to Vivekananda to convey to him that he (Vivekananda) was big in his own right. Why should he then talk so much of Ramakrishna. He asked him to give it up and said that they would accept his leadership. Swamiji laughed on hearing this. What is their fault in it? How could they understand Thakur? They were of different nature. There are three kinds of nature: sattva, rajas and tamas. Most people have rajas in them - they only see outside. They cannot see within so they see quite the opposite. As the nature one has, so he conducts oneself and speaks.

"Vivekananda delivered a lecture in Madras entitled ‘Sages of India.’ Having mentioned Rama, Krishna, Buddha, Shankar, Ramanuja, Madhava, Nanak and Chaitanya, he said at the end, ‘The summation of all those great people, I have mentioned is Ramakrishna.’

"Is the highest ideal known to everybody? Those who have caught it, must be taken as the favoured few. That is why we love them so much who constantly think of Him.

"Many people put on the gerua (ochre cloth of a monk). But how many meditate on that highest ideal? The sadhus of the Belur Math are, however, engaged in it. That’s why one wants to be so much to be in their company, one yearns to hear about them.

"Vivekananda said, ‘If I tell a truth, it belongs to Sri Ramakrishna. All other things I say are mine." And he added, ‘Even the close disciples have known of Sri Ramakrishna only as much as he has made them do so. Sri Ramakrishna was a man of infinite moods of which there was no end.’

"Vivekananda said, ‘I or anyone of his disciples, living for millions of years, can not understand a millionth part of what he was.’

"And he had added, ‘Make me your slave life after life.’ He also said, ‘Out of a handful of dust, lakhs of Vivekananda can be made by this man, Ramakrishna.’

"Aha, what he has said about Sri Ramakrishna in the arati and stava (hymns)! Such an expression is not to be found in any holy book. Says he: ‘Thy feet are like nectar to the mortals, quelling the waves of death. Therefore, Thou friend of the lowly, Thou are my only refuge.’ And then ‘O, the breaker of worldly bondage; Thee transcend all gunas,’ and he also says, ‘O thou, the only goal of all being.’ ‘He who takes refuge at his feet knows the ocean of this world as nothing more than a puddle made by a cow’s feet.’ Oh! what a love for the guru! Vivekananda knew none else than Sri Ramakrishna."

M. (to himself) — It is all so confusing, Mother, why do you make me think then? Grant me, Mother, pure devotion at your lotus feet.

M. (to the bhaktas) — Seeing the goings-on in the world it seems it is ‘the grand-pa has his fruit-meal fast.’ Now sing a song of His human lila, like ‘Beautiful is thy name, O the Refuge of the lowly!’ Thakur used to sing it himself.

The Elder Amulya — This one I shall not be able to sing.

M. — All right, sing the one you know.

M. (to the bhaktas) — One should always be alert, like the soldier with the bayonet. And you must have your sails hoisted, waiting for the favourable wind. Hoisting the sail, in other words, to repeat the Name, to meditate, to cry with a longing heart. After this longing comes ‘sunrise’. When does one long? When all desires for sensory enjoyment has been got rid of.

"Thakur said, ‘Keep sitting consciously whenever you may be, and keep on crying. I shall take you to the right place.’ The Bible says the same: ‘Keep wake. The bridegroom may come any time.’ Oh, what beautiful words! Their very sound takes the mind across."

Calcutta,

Wednesday, 6th of August 1924.

21st of Shravana 1331 (B.Y.),

The sixth day of the bright fortnight.