14
COMPASSION BINDS, SERVICE LIBERATES
1.
Morton School, M.’s room. It is 7 a.m. Today M.’s neuralgic backache has increased. Though he went down to the third level for answering the call of nature he has climbed back to the fourth (level). He is lying down in his bed facing west. To his left are seated Jagabandhu, Shanti, Vinay and others on benches. Shanti has been a student of the Morton School and is now studying in a college. M. encourages him to continue his studies.
M. (to Shanti) — Please continue your studies. You must. Do it with full concentration of mind. Why study? For it cleanses the intellect and the power of thinking. With that one climbs to higher levels of thought. Let us see what that higher thought is. It is nothing but God-realization. Of all the ideals that man can aspire to, God-realization is the highest. How? As it brings supreme peace. All sorrows come to an end. Disease, sorrow, poverty, insults, age and death dilute the intellect. That’s it. So one should be ready early so that one may keep one’s mental equilibrium even amongst these trials.
"It is by the grace of God only that one can keep one’s balance to some extent. Thakur used to say, ‘Otherwise sorrow etc. pushes out all reason.’ Such a highly competent person was Arjun, yet he went mad at the loss of his son. Such is the play of mahamaya. When Akshay, Thakur’s nephew, died, Thakur said, ‘My heart was wrenched like a towel.’ This boy had grown up in his presence. He used to say, ‘I have not lived as a householder. Yet if I feel so much pain, how much more do they feel who live in the household.’ Of course, if was only for a few days that Thakur was in such a state. Thereafter he never so much as mentioned this state. All this is meant to serve as an example. One should always remain prepared for these things in life.
"However if one can remain in samadhi, one is out of this play of maya. Even otherwise for how long can one remain in samadhi? And what can bring samadhi? The alternative to all this is faith in the words of the guru. Believe him like a child. The mother says, ‘There is a hobgoblin in that room.’ The child believes her one hundred percent. What is a hobgoblin, the child does not even know.
"Guru Thakur was an avatara. And he said, ‘If you weep while praying, God listens.’ He also said, ‘The sound of the little bells on the leg of an ant reaches Him. Why should then your prayer not reach Him? And he should keep the company of sadhus who have believed the words of the guru. He should weep and say, ‘Mother don’t enchant me with your world-bewitching maya.’ Thakur has given all these hints.
"The army is deployed on the borders of the state, to stop the enemy when he comes. Similarly one should deploy the services of caution on the borders of the mind. When there is an attack even the wall of caution can fall. It can even push away the thoughtfulness of spiritually perfect persons - even of the avataras! Rama cried for Sita and Lakshman. Even so this state was short-lived."
M. is silent for a while. He resumes.
M. (to all present) — To save oneself from these visible catastrophes, study is helpful, but it is only the first step. It also develops many other qualities: concentration, a sense of responsibility, obedience, a sharpened intellect, patience, perseverance - all these. The main thing is that the intellect is purified, it is sharpened. (To Shanti) Didn’t you rub the kite thread with a paste of glass in your childhood? Similarly the intellect also needs to be rubbed with this paste. The more we rub it the more it is purified, it is sharpened. It is with this kind of treated intellect that one can cut the opposing intellect, the worldly kind of intellect. The better the paste the easier it is to cut the thread of the opponent’s kite. Then the kite of the mind can rise up and up in the clear sky. All other intellect is defiled intellect, lower intellect. Only the Godward-intellect, the intellect with moksha as its goal, is the right intellect.
"If one has realized through his intellect that this is the right pursuit one has already advanced a lot. What now remains is to practice. Even if one fails a number of times one must keep up the attempt. But this can be done only by him who has a purified intellect. Otherwise the mind feels sorry along with fear and despair. With such a mind one cannot win the battle."
M. (to all present) — It is said that Raja Bali went to the nether world with five pandits - he would not agree to go to heaven with a hundred fools. It signifies that an intelligent enemy is better than a foolish friend. It is only by intellect, by learning, that Brahman- vidya can be gained. Everybody cannot be made to pursue Brahman-vidya early. But one can be made to understand that the practice of Brahman-vidya can destroy all pain. One should take it only to the extent of probability.
"Later on, if one begins to feel the need of practising Brahman-vidya after falling into the whirlpool of changed circumstances while facing trials and tribulations, it will be easier to tread that path. Possibly some may become sadhus while studying - without ever falling into the maze of worldly life - without ever entering the householder’s life, this cauldron of fire.
"And even if they take to the householder’s life, their earlier practice will prove useful to them - they will be able to march on in the company of God. This will profit them too. Man’s life is beset with pain and sorrow. If one enters it one should get ready in advance. Maybe a person becomes a sadhu while he is still a student. What does it mean? That he is ready to fight that relentless battle - ‘if I kill, I’ll kill an elephant only; if I loot, I’ll loot a big treasure only.’ The Mother of the universe does not engage him in the work of creation. He is made to tread the path of jnana and bhakti. He will not only have joy, peace and happiness for himself but he will also pull up others to that path. The Mother has both these - vidya (knowledge that leads man to God) and avidya (ignorance). She will take them to Her department of vidya."
Jagabandhu and Vinay leave for the Belur Math at half past eight. M. feels quite uncomfortable when he does not hear about the Math. Even during this illness, M. yearns for the news of the Math. That is why he has sent bhaktas to the Math to bring news from there.
Having gathered all information from the Math, the bhaktas cross the Ganga and go to Dr. Kartik Bakshi’s house in Cossipore. They take their lunch and rest and reach the Cossipore Garden at two in the evening by the Doctor’s car. With them are the Doctor, the Elder Amulya and the Younger Amulya. It is at this sanctified spot that Sri Ramakrishna lived almost for a year during his illness. And it is here that Sri Ramakrishna entered the maha-samadhi. These days, a Christian gentleman from America is living there with his family. They are very good people. When the devotees of Sri Ramakrishna arrive there, they take them respectfully to their home. Today again they visit all these spots with the bhaktas. They learn from them where the bed of the Master was. These bhaktas have visited this place with M. also a number of times. M. had shown them that the Master’s bed was in the western side of the circular room near the window. It was also in this garden that Narendra Nath (later Swami Vivekananda) attained nirvikalpa samadhi by the grace of Sri Ramakrishna. Here his (Thakur’s) close disciples gained Self-realization and had there desires fulfilled. Here again the close disciples formed themselves into a sangha (a group) taking refuge in Sri Ramakrishna’s service - for the happiness and the good of many. Sri Ramakrishna Sangha (the Ramakrishna Order) was born in this famous garden. This great spot is as holy as it is historically important.
The bhaktas now reach 50, Shyampukur Road. Initially Sri Ramakrishna had lived in this house for the treatment of his cancer. Here Dr. Mahendra Nath Sarkar, the founder of Indian Science, had seen Sri Ramakrishna as his physician. It was in this house that Sri Ramakrishna had worshipped himself on the Shyama Puja day with flowers, garlands, sandal-wood paste and so on, and it was here that Girish who had such a great faith in the guru, and other bhaktas were blessed by his varabhaya posture, of giving boon and freedom from fear.
Now they come to the Balaram Mandir. It is a special centre of pilgrimage in the Sri Ramakrishna lila. Many a time Sri Ramakrishna had joined the assembly of bhaktas here. How much of spiritual talk, song and dance, samadhi and the play of divine mood had taken place here! The bhaktas could not always go to the Dakshineswar Temple. And Sri Ramakrishna too could not do without them. So he himself would go to the Balaram Mandir from time to time and there, calling the bhaktas, would enact his divine lila. It is possible for the bhaktas to forget the Master but how could the Master forget them? Do parents ever forget their children? Sri Ramakrishna was the father and mother of the whole world. So when the bhaktas forgot him for a time he would bring himself back to their consciousness by granting them his divine love. This Balaram Mandir is the meeting place of all the forgetful and bewildered devotee-children of the Master.
5 p.m. The bhaktas having been to a musical competition in Bagh Bazar for a short while, have returned to the Morton School. M. is unwell, he has severe neuralgic pain in his back. Even so he eagerly awaits news from the Belur Math, the holy centre associated with the memories of Thakur, like the chataka bird longing for a drop of rain. As soon as he sees the bhaktas he shouts like a restless child, ‘Tell me, tell me quickly all about them, who having forsaken everything have taken to Him for ever. Speak about those all-renouncing sadhus. This is the best item on the agenda of the world. It is about the men of steady wisdom who having given up their parents, their wife and children, leaving behind their all, are engaged in the pursuit of God alone - whole time men of devotion they are. While others are drowned in worldliness, they have immersed themselves in God. They only want God. It is the account of these men that dispels all sorrows. They tread a path opposite to others. It is only this object of desire which will last forever. Belur Math is indeed the principle centre of peace, happiness and pure joy.’
The bhaktas give an account of the Math, the Cossipore Garden, the Shyampukur grove and the Balaram Mandir one after the other. M. presses them for more and more details. What is an ordinary news for others is very important for M. He says, ‘It’s all right that you have talked about the cows in the Belur Math but what about their calves? How many cows are there, and how many their calves? How many cows are yielding milk? Who are the sadhus that have come to the Math? And who have gone to the branch centres? Which vegetables are grown in the kitchen garden? Who is performing what work? How many sadhus took their bath in the Ganga with you and who were they? Who performs Thakur’s puja? All this information is invaluable in M.’s eyes. Seeing M.’s earnestness and conduct, his reverence and love, the bhaktas realize that everything about those who have renounced the world and about the avataras is not only pure and precious but also helpful in attaining the knowledge of God. While listening to the account of the Math, M. has forgotten all his pain. The bhaktas find M. a completely changed person - like a young man, he is bright with a glow of joy on his face, as though he is living with the Master in the Cossipore garden. Ordinarily people go to a sadhu to hear about Vedanta, but M. goes to the Math through the body of the bhaktas to see sadhus what they do, how they speak or talk - all this.
The whole conduct of the man of steady wisdom is adorable. M. has no sign of illness or anything else on his face. Instead there is earnest curiosity, happiness and peace. What is ordinary for others is so important for M. The bhaktas see a new significance in these words of the Gita: ya nisha sarvabhutanam tasyam jagarti sanyami - in what is night for all beings, the self-controlled keep awake (2:69).
Seated in the staircase room, M. listens to the account of the Math so full of joy. It is ten at night. The devotees take leave. Having taken his dinner M. sits on a chair facing south in the staircase room. Manoranjan, Balai and Jagabandhu massage M.’s back with saindhavadi oil and give hot fomentation. Today it is the 3rd August 1924, the 18th of Shravana, Sunday, the third day of the bright fortnight, 50 dandas/55 palas.
2.
Morton School. M.’s room on the fourth level. It is 8 p.m. M. is lying on his bed on his right side. Manoranjan massages his back with the Saindhavadi oil and Jagabandhu gives fomentation with salt bags. He feels a little comforted with this fomentation. Today his pain has increased. The bhaktas are seated in the staircase room. As desired by M. they listen to the reading from the Kathamrita.
After a few moments, the Elder Jiten, Dr. Kartik Bakshi, Vinay and the Younger Amulya enter M.’s room. After a short conversation, they take their leave. Now only the Younger Jiten, Manoranjan and Jagabandhu are in the room. The massage and the fomentation continue. Inspite of this pain, M. says amusing things in between adding different kinds of instructions.
M. (to Manoranjan) — Why did you arrange the marriage of your foolish brother? That’s why the responsibility of the household has fallen on you. If you had not done it you would have been free. You didn’t marry but you made your brother marry, so the responsibility is on you. Now put up with it for the whole of your life. He will have children. Them also you will have to bring up. Prakritih tvam niyokshyati (Gita 18:59) - your nature will compel you. Do you know what it is like? Say, the head is without any load but a load is tied to the feet. In jail, they tie a big weight to the murderer’s feet with the result that he cannot move about as he wishes. It is like that too.
"However there is a way out - if you can forget all and become a sannyasi. But where is its possibility? The attachment which compelled you to get him married will keep pulling you back. Even so if one can direct that attachment towards God, it brings liberation. Then one has no responsibility. One becomes eligible for yogakshemum vahami aham (Gita 9:22), the Lord’s promise of gain and security.
"Is it only attachment that binds you? You also have the pride of having done it. This feeling is a great enemy - the feeling, who will do it if not I, who will look after him if not I, he is an orphan. Such thoughts push one into it. If this pride could be tied to God one is saved. Otherwise there is no end to it, neither in this life nor in many more to come.
"The English have a good custom with regard to marriage - the father or the brother takes no responsibility for it. The responsibility is one’s own - of the boy and the girl mutually. One has only to take the consent of the fathers of both the parties once."
M. (to the Younger Jiten) — The Younger Amulya was asked to marry away his daughter. When the daughter grows up, it is one’s duty to arrange for her marriage. But it is not your duty to arrange for the marriage of the son. He should be made fit to stand on his feet, that’s all. Then let him work hard and earn his livelihood. When their offsprings grow, the birds do not feed them - the mother bird drives away the mature offspring when it joins its beak to hers for food. Thakur’s dictum is the same. Make your son competent and give away your daughter to a good boy. However one must serve one’s parents throughout one’s life and arrange for bread, clothes and a roof for the faithful wife for the whole of her life. Thakur even says this: ‘Even if the mother is of easy virtue, the son must still serve her throughout her life.’
A Bhakta — Is it correct that many a girl don’t want to marry these days?
M. — It is not enough to say that they don’t want to marry. We should find the reason why they don’t want to marry. If a girl wants to take to the life of a nun, it is good, let her do so. But if she wants to evade her responsibilities, it will not be in her interest. One must take to one of the ashramas, whether it is brahmacharya (celibacy) or grihastha (family-life). Otherwise it is being neither here nor there. The mind does not grow. It is better if she chooses the brahmacharya ashrama of nuns. Otherwise she will have trouble later on - she will have nothing to stand upon. Her mind will not firm up. There will always be a struggle in her mind whether she is a sannyasini or a member of a family. Because of this dilemma her mind will never be firm. So the character will not form and the mind not settle. If the girl has no high ideal to live for, the father or the brother should arrange her marriage. Unless the girl protests strongly, she should be married off.
M. (to the bhaktas) — Many people don’t marry but they arrange the marriages of their brothers or other relations. But when the bridegroom is not in a position to earn, it is the person, who has arranged the marriage who has to earn for them. Not only this, he becomes also responsible for their growing family. That’s what happens. He has to reap the fruit of his actions in this very life. The same is the case of involvement with Manoranjan. He himself has not married but got his brother married. He is in a pretty pickle.
M. (to Manoranjan) — Now that you have such complex problems you should read the Kathamrita. What else can one do? Do read the Kathamrita, please do.
M. (to Jagabandhu) — People get treatment from the physicians to show off. Haven’t you seen rows of doctors’ cabs parked in front of the houses of the rich? Similarly some live the householder’s life just to show off. Likewise some practice religion for show. All that is a show off. There is no firm resolve within.
What is M. thinking of ? He resumes.
M. (to all present) — It is very difficult to find a real friend. So somebody said in despair, ‘Save me from friends.’ Only the Satguru (the true preceptor) is a real friend, not only for the present, but also of other times.
The bhaktas massage M.’s back with the Saindhavadi oil and give him salt-bag fomentation. He has severe pain, but his mind is fixed on his Satguru, the Master. And outwardly he gives instruction to the devotees for their good. To fix the mind on God and to do good to man are indeed the two duties of all the spiritually great.
M. (to the bhaktas) — It is said that formerly people used only the leaves of akanda (the swallow wort) to give fomentation to relieve pain. Nowadays no end of medicines have been formulated.
"It is already dark. Go and take rest.
(To Jagabandhu) "Yesterday you were rather careless - you put the oil bottle on the window frame. It is difficult to come across a man who can guard all sides. Thakur said, ‘The devotee must have two eyes on his back too’. What about it? Once he scolded me for leaving the umbrella in the Panchavati.
"Why he did he insist that the devotees must have two eyes on their back too, I have understood now after a long time. The mahamaya makes one forget all. One should save oneself in the test of mahamaya by keeping one’s eyes open in worldly matters."
It is Monday, 4th August 1924, the 19th of Shravana, the fourth day of the bright fortnight, 48 dandas/42 palas.
The next day, seven in the morning. M. is seated on the staircase room in a chair facing north. Jagabandhu, the Younger Jiten and some other devotees come up and offer their pranam to M. They have spent the night in the satsang room on the second level. The third part of the Kathamrita is under print. M. is holding the press proofs in his hand: ‘The meeting of Sri Ramakrishna and Sri Vidyasagar.’ M. gives the copy to Jagabandhu and himself reads the proof. While doing so he comments.
M. (to the bhaktas) — They belong to a particular class. They say that it is not possible to know God, for example Kant. Vidyasagar Mahashaya is also of the same opinion. They reason it with their intellect but the Vedas go far beyond. They say: ‘Yes, He is avanga manas agocharam - He is beyond mind and sight - but He is visible to the pure intellect. He is certainly invisible to the intellect involved in senses. The pure intellect is attained by tapasya. Ego is the dirt of the mind. It can be got rid of by meditating on God. Take for example a piece of gold. It has a coating of dust on it so that the gold below is not visible. Wash it with water, you immediately see its form. There is the coating of ego over it - a creature’s ego. Join it with God’s ego, the jiva becomes Shiva. But it is very difficult to get rid of one’s ego. If you call on Him with a yearning heart, He shows by His grace that the jiva and Shiva are basically one - tvameva aham - You are me. Thakur used to converse night and day with It, the God. By his grace his bhaktas have also attained this state.
M. (to the bhaktas) — Just reflect on this, while I go downstairs. (To Jagabandhu) And you may please read the proofs while the Younger Jiten holds the copy. (Bhaktas read the proof and in-between comment on what is read. In the meanwhile, M. returns).
M. — What were you talking of ?
A Particular Bhakta — Why did Thakur go to Vidyasagar?
M. — Thakur used to say, ‘He who is accepted by ‘ten’ persons, he who receives their respect, has divine power in him.’ Thakur had heard of Vidyasagar Mahashaya’s compassion in his childhood. In age, he was senior to Thakur by sixteen or seventeen years. Even so he showed respect to Thakur. Compassion is the essential quality of Sattva. It leads to God. It was to tell him that he had this pearl within that he went to him. ‘Just a little shake,’ said he, ‘and it will come out.’ That is why Thakur asked Vidyasagar to visit Dakshineswar. The latter promised to go there, but could not. Thakur was sad. One day he said to me, ‘What kind of man is Vidyasagar? He gave me his word but could not keep it.’ Had he gone there, Thakur would have probably made him see God in this very life.
"It is the ego which is a great obstacle in the way of seeing God. Thakur used to say, ‘It is like a veil, it covers the thing, it covers God. If by His grace somehow it is lifted, one realizes God. I am the servant of God - this also is ego, he used to say. He used to ask us to live in the world with this ego of a servant. Even showing compassion is ego. Yudhishtra had the ego of being always truthful. So it was that Lord Krishna rid him of it.
"That is why Thakur said to Vidyasagar Mahashaya, ‘Doing good to others is certainly good, but it should be done in a selfless manner. It should be done knowing it to be God’s work and considering oneself only His instrument.’ Arjun was given the same lesson."
M. reads the proof while Jagabandhu holds the copy. In between he talks. Says he to the Younger Jiten, ‘Please take a gulabjamun, each one of you.’ Saying this he himself gives gulabjamun to every bhakta. And he says, ‘Please take these chanbada (sweet made of cheese) to the Advaita Ashrama and also these oranges. See that the sadhus take them in your presence. Tell them that he (M.) has asked you to see to it.’
Jagabandhu reads the copy, while M. keeps on talking. However, when he finds a little mistake in reading, he scolds him and says: ‘You must keep your sight all around you. If you can concentrate your mind on this, you will also be able to concentrate it on God.’
Morton School,
Tuesday, 5th August 1924,
20th of Shravana 1331 (B.Y.),
The 5th day of the bright fortnight, 45 dandas/30 palas.